A Real European Christmas
by Rajana
Summary: FINALLY COMPLETE Logan and Max are spending Christmas with his grandparents in Europe. I'm sorry it took me soooo long to post but here are 3 new chapters: 11,12 and 15!!
1. Plans

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**Disclaimer:** _I don't own anything. Not Dark Angel, not the characters, nothing. Not in this chapter and not in the following. Just to let you know._  
  
**Spoilers:** _First season up to "Shorties in Love" - that's about when this happens_  
  
**Rating:** _PG13_  
  
_So I was finally brave enough to post it. This is my first fic in English. I know my English is a mess but nobody will read it in another language, so.. be nice or help me with it. And please tell me what you think. Just horrible? Or do you like it? Please R&R.  
  
I know Christmas is over but hey - I love that holiday!_  
  
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**__Chapter 1: Plans**  
  
"So, do you have any plans for Christmas?" asked Max when they were sitting in Logan's living room with a glass of wine. "..Well... yes. The same plans I have every year. Go to Europe, visit my grandparents and have a real European Christmas."  
  
Max look changed from relaxed to surprised, but her voice stayed the same. As if she didn't want anybody to notice how much that had hurt her. "A real European Christmas? What's that supposed to be?"   
  
"Like a pre Pulse Christmas here. A Christmas tree, Santa Claus, lots of presents, being together with your family and eating chocolates and other nice stuff." He waited a little moment then asked, "Wanna join me?"   
  
His grandma had called him more than once to ask if he'd bring somebody for the holidays, but he hadn't said anything to her. If he'd bring somebody it could only be Max. He'd love to have her with him. They had celebrated Thanksgiving together and their birthdays. His and Max' chosen one. Max was something like his family. Or at least somebody he didn't want to be alone on Christmas. He was happy enough not to have to celebrate with Jonas and Margot.   
  
Max mood had changed from disappointed that he'd go away to very unsure. She couldn't simply go with him, could she? Their relationship was complicated enough. Not that she wouldn't like to spend Christmas with him. Cindy was going to visit her new lover's family. And not one day in the year was as lonesome as Christmas eve. She had been alone often, before she got to know Cindy and now Logan. But Europe? She had never been to Europe. She had no idea of how life could be like there. And it was too dangerous. Going on a plane? They'd make controls. So she said, "Sorry, Logan, but I can't. I've got work to do!"  
  
He was obviously disappointed. "On Christmas? And isn't that supposed to be my sentence?"   
  
"Logan, I simply can't go."  
  
"Okay, okay, I understand!" Logan said and wondered why he was so angry about it. It's just Max and he'd only be away for about a week.   
  
She asked, "So when will you come back?"   
  
"New years day.."   
  
Cool, Max, just be cool.   
  
"So you're going to stay for a whole week?"   
  
Why does that suddenly sound like a lifetime, asked Logan himself. "Yeah. I'm really looking forward to seeing my grandparents again."   
  
"They are your Mom's parents, right?"  
  
"Yeah. They went back to Europe after the Pulse."   
  
"I hope you'll enjoy your visit."   
  
"Me too, but why can't you come with me? I'd like to show you around. There are so many nice things to see and do over there!"   
  
He almost had had her. Max had almost lost an "okay" with his begging and cute look, but she stayed hard. "No, Logan, really not."  
  
She put her glass on the table, leaned back and crossed her arms in front of her chest.   
  
He asked, "So this is your last word?"   
  
"Yes!" Max, you're such an idiot. Why couldn't you simply say yes and go on the plane with him to Europe? One week with this great man. But no, it was too late. She just had to look into his face to see how much she had hurt him. But he nodded and put his glass next to hers.  
Max couldn't stand it any more and stood up. "Gotta blaze!"  
  
Before he could look up, she was gone. Like hypnotized he stared at the door through which she just had disappeared. Why was this girl always running away?  
  
Time vanished till the holidays. Max and Logan didn't meet often and if, only for a short period of time. Christmas was like a wall between them. Logan worked a lot and prepared for the trip, until he took the plane two days before Christmas.  
  
Max worked as usual, took a lot of runs for not having to think about Logan. Of course it didn't work and now she could only think of him sitting in a plane bound for Europe. She missed him. Missed his daily pages, missed him as the best person she could talk with about what happened at work and she missed his dark blue eyes watching her when telling anything. She even missed doing his legwork.  
  
Logan spent the whole flight thinking about how nice it would have been to have Max with him. By his side. The flight wouldn't have been that boring, he knew that they would have talked all the time.   
  



	2. Europe

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_Okay, did anybody read the first chapter and is willing to continue? I'm sorry for all spelling and grammatical mistakes. English isn't my first language and it's so difficult to write in a foreign language... Please tell me what you think about the story. Too bad? Shall I continue? Or better delete everything? R._  
  
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**Chapter 2: Europe**  
  
His grandparents were at the airport to welcome him and he was happy to be there when he saw the loving smile on both of their faces. "Hey, Logan!"   
  
"Granny, hi!" His grandmother hugged him.  
  
"Grandpa!"   
  
"Good to see you again, Logan!"   
  
He hadn't met his grandparents after the accident, but they were easy with everything. Well, he had talked on the phone for ages to tell them about everything. His grandpa took his suitcase and led them to the car. They talked all the way home with Logan telling about Seattle and his grandparents asking questions about everything back in the States. When they arrived, dinner was almost ready and Logan didn't have much time to think about anything.   
  
It was quite late - he had already decided to go to bed - when his grandmother asked him, "So, who is this girl you went to Bennett's wedding with?"   
  
Logan sighed. "Max? What did Jonas tell?"   
  
"Nothing. Bennett just told us about her."   
  
His grandfather grinned and Logan shook his head.   
  
"Her name is Max. But she is stubborn like hell, and I finally gave up trying to understand her."   
  
Logan's mood obviously changed and he stared out of the black window, thinking about her.   
  
"You like her, don't you?"   
  
"Does that matter? She's the most perfect woman I ever met and I'm just.." He didn't finish the sentence, but his grandparents understood. "Sorry, but I'll go to bed. Good night."   
  
"Good night, Logan!"   
  
The next morning, when he woke up, he took the phone and dialed Max's number, but then changed his mind. Instead he only sent her a small message. He missed her.  
  


* * *

One day before Christmas her phone rang but when she answered it, the line had already been separated. But she was quite sure it had been a German number and she could imagine who had tried to reach her.   
  
A few minutes later she got a message. "Hey Max. I'm fine. The flight's been nice and my grandparents are really happy to have me here. No hover drones, no sector police, but great shops to buy presents. Hope you're doing fine. Logan."   
She read the message again and again. She missed him.  
  
About an hour later her phone rang again. Cindy's voice came out of the bathroom. "Take the call. I can't."   
  
Max looked at the phone. The same number. "Yeah?"   
  
"Max Guevara?"   
  
"Yes?!"   
  
"This is Sarah Parker speaking. I'm Logan's grandmother."   
  
Max was surprised. "Oh!? Hey! Can I help you?"   
  
"Well, not me personally, but maybe Logan. He came here yesterday and is in a horrible mood. And just speaking out your name makes it even worse, so I suspect his mood's got something to do with you. Am I right?"   
  
Max wondered what was happening, but she answered, "Yeah, I guess so."   
  
"Am I still right when I think that he asked you to join him at visiting us? He wasn't quite sure for some time whether he would come alone or bring somebody with him, so maybe that was you?"   
  
Max breathed deeply. "Yeah, you're still right. But why are you calling?"   
  
"Because I love my grandson and because I want to have a nice Christmas. So why don't you get your stuff together and take the next plane? I would really appreciate it. And Logan too, even though he does not know I'm talking to you right now. So it's still your choice!"   
  
"Thanks. But what do you know about me, that you're calling? We've never met."   
  
"I know, but I know Logan. He didn't speak much of you but I know he cares about you. You must have proved more than once that you're a good friend."  
  
Max still wondered what Logan had told his granny. Why did she call her and asked her to come? But it was like a second chance. She could still come and spend Christmas with Logan. And his grandparents - his grandma seemed to be nice. But then something suddenly came to her mind.   
  
"I would love to, but I'm sorry. I can't afford the flight."   
  
"No problem. Regard it as a Christmas present. Your ticket will be at the airport."   
  
"Okay. So I'll get my stuff together and jump on the next plane."  
  
Logan's grandma had already managed everything. She told her when the plane went and how she could find them in Europe. So Max did as she was told. Everything was fine, the controls were laughable and the flight was boring.  
  
**A/N:**_ Okay, this one was very short. But the next chapter will be longer, I promise!!_


	3. The Day Before Christmas

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_Thanks for reading so far... And please tell me what you think.. It's getting shippier!_  
  
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**Chapter 3: The Day before Christmas**  
  
"Parker" read the name at the apartment door. She pressed the ring button and stood back. A woman opened the door, no doubt it had to be Logan's grandmother. The same blue eyes.   
  
"Hallo?" she asked, but when Max answered, "Hello!" She knew who she was talking to.   
  
"You must be Max! Come in! Glad you finally made it."   
  
"Thanks!"   
  
She followed her in and had to learn, "I'm afraid Logan took the train and is out for a walk at the shore. You wanna wait here or go there and look for him?"   
  
"I got a rental car so I could go there if you'd show me where to go exactly."   
  
"No problem. Just wait a moment, I'll get a map."   
  
She disappeared through one of the doors and called "Steven!" A few moments later she came back with a man and a map.  
  
"Max, hey! I'm Steven, Logan's grandfather!"   
  
Max looked at the elderly man. He was still handsome for his age and he looked as if he had seen a lot in his life. But it seemed as if this had just made him wise, not bitter.   
  
"Nice to meet you!"   
  
He showed her the way, handed her the map and she went back to the car. About twenty minutes journey she had been told.  
  
She parked the car on the parking lot and went to the sea. The air smelled salty, much more intensive than in Seattle. She could see the sea bridge of which the Parkers had spoken and went in the direction.  
  
Logan looked over the sea. I was cold and windy. And lonely. Well, who was out so short time before Christmas eve. He felt watched and looked around. A woman was coming to the bridge and to him. Too far away to see more, but she reminded him of Max. Okay, every dark haired woman reminded him of Max. Every slim woman and well, every woman who was running around.  
  
With a sigh he looked back over the water and breathed deeply. She had made her decision. They were just friends. Even if his heart told him he wanted nothing more than Max to appear right in front of him. She was his family. Much more than all his other relatives. But now the ocean separated him not from his grandparents but from Max. Why couldn't she just come to him, say "hey" and smile one of her million watt smiles? So sad he looked over the sea, then decided it was time to go back if he wanted to have coffee with his grandparents and go to church with them.  
  
He turned his wheelchair around and before he realized what he saw there, a "Hey" and a smile made his thoughts come true. His feelings hadn't betrayed him this time. It had been Max. They stared at each other, then Max kneed down and embraced him. He answered the hug and pulled her tight. She suddenly realized what she had done. You can't pretend she just ran into him. You can't run into somebody who's in a wheelchair and hug him. Not when kneeling on the cold floor. They opened the embrace and looked at each other.   
  
"Sorry, Ma'am, but you look exactly like a dear friend of mine!" Logan grinned, while Max was standing up. She smiled back and thought once again how easy you could get lost in his eyes.   
  
"Somebody told me this stuff about a real European Christmas so I wondered what it was like and came here. Till now it's mostly cold."   
  
"I just wanted to go home, but now..."   
  
"Going back is fine. I guess, this bridge will still be here tomorrow."   
  
He nodded. "Yes, I guess it will. Already met my grandparents, didn't you?"   
  
"They were really nice and told me where to find you. Glad you didn't go jogging at the beach. Would've been much harder to find you then."   
  
He grimaced and followed her to the parking lot. Nobody said anything but the looks they shared said more than they'd ever been able to say. Now they were ready for Christmas.  
  
"Are you tired?" Logan asked when they came to the car.  
  
She shook her head. "No. I slept a little in the plane. And you know I don't sleep much, so it's fine. Maybe I've even got a jet lag 'cause I feel so awake."   
  
He smiled. Not so strange. He still couldn't sleep at night. "So what's going to happen when we come to your grandparent's place?"   
  
"My granny baked a chocolate cake, I guess and after having eaten that one, we'll go to church. Having finished that, we'll give about half of the presents, 'cause we never could decide when to give the presents. Christmas eve or the next morning. So we split. We're going to eat a Christmas goose and we'll sit next to the lightened Christmas tree and listen to Christmas songs and talk a little about what happened last year and what we think is going to happen next year."   
  
Logan suddenly became excited like a little child and Max didn't want to bring him back to earth, but she had some questions. "So I guess they don't know about you being an underground cyber journalist? What's the story then? And what did you tell them about me?"   
  
"The story is I work as a free journalist, specialized on internet researches."   
  
"Okay, that's not so wrong."   
  
"You're a bike messenger. If you don't use your powers in front of them or wear your hair tight up, everything will be fine. Is this your car?" he asked and as Max nodded and opened the door he pulled himself into it. She watched him put his wheelchair behind him and sat down on the drivers seat.  
  
Slowly she started to drive back every once in a while looking at the guy next to her. Logan did the same. She was really here. He hadn't believed this to happen after their last discussion. He wondered how she had come here and suddenly realized that someone must have made a long distance call.  
  
She parked the car in front of the house and when he changed to his chair Max came to him, carrying her bag. She followed him to the apartment and he opened the door.   
  
"Grandpa? Granny? We're back!" he called and when his grandmother answered, they followed the voice to the kitchen.   
  
She stood there and was cooking coffee. "So you finally found each other?"   
  
"Yeah, Max found me....And you've got to explain me some things!" he added whispering, but his grandmother laughed and gave him the cake.   
  
"Take this one to the living room and show Max where she can sleep. Daniel's bed is made."   
Logan nodded and placed the cake in his lap.   
  
"Can I help you?" asked Max but Sarah shook his head.   
  
"No, just let Logan show you where you are going to stay."   
  
Logan disappeared in what had to be the living room and came back only a second later. She followed him when he led her to the end of the aisle where there were two rooms. "My grandparents once said that no matter where they are going to live, my Mom and her brother would always have a place to stay with them. So I stay in my Mom's room and this one is Uncle Daniel's. He lives in Australia and doesn't come here often."   
  
Max looked into Logan's room. Everything was tidy as she was used to. Logan was always so tidy. Daniel's room was untouched, just the bed was made and for a second she thought about laying down for a few minutes. But then she just threw her bag into it and stepped to the window.   
  
"I can't believe that we're still on the same planet. This is so peaceful here!"   
  
Logan smiled back from the door where he was waiting. "I told you this was a different world. No Pulse, not more crime than usual. Happy people waiting to get their presents." Then he smiled: "And their chocolate cakes. Let's get it. And this world won't be broken in the morning."   
  
She smiled and thought of the day he had said this to her. Following him to the living room she felt uncredible safe and happy.   
  
Steven was just lighting the candles. "Hey Max, hey Logan! Sit down, we'll start right away!"   
  
Max took place on the couch and Logan stopped next to her. "This is so nice!" he said.  
  
Max grinned, "It's not that we aren't used to candles. But we use them more during brown-outs."   
  
Sarah who just came in with the coffee, looked at them, but didn't say anything. Logan knew exactly what this look meant. She wanted him to stay here. But he ignored it. Steven gave cake and coffee to everyone.   
  
"Does anyone want to have cream? Sarah, darling?"   
  
Logan's grandmother looked up and nodded. "Yes please. So Max, how was your flight?"   
  
Max felt like she had changed body with someone else. Someone who was very lucky. This was so perfect. A perfect family, a perfect cake and such a loving atmosphere. She didn't know why Logan hadn't grown up with his grandparents, but there had to be some other reason than that they wouldn't have wished to do so. They loved him. Suddenly she became aware of the fact that she knew nothing about Logan's childhood. She didn't know why his parents died and when.  
  
But back to the question. "Fine, thanks. Very calm. I was able to sleep a little when I had changed planes in Atlanta. I had a little problem with the car-rental at the airport here, but they were finally able to find my reservation."   
  
"How long are you going to stay?" Logan asked and Max smiled, "There's a nice plane going back to Seattle on new year's day."   
  
Logan tried to hide his smile, but he couldn't. Max would see it anyway. A whole week with Max in this whole world. This was the best present he could get. He looked at his granny but she pretended to know about nothing.  
  
They had coffee and ate the cake while Max had to undergo all those questions friends have to undergo, and already the first question made her struggle. "So Max, where did you meet Logan?"   
  
She couldn't tell this nice old lady and her husband that she broke into Logan's apartment to steal. So she said, "My job brought me near him."   
  
That wasn't wrong. If she hadn't delivered the package to the building next to Logan's she would never have seen his statue. "What to you do for your living?"   
  
"I'm a bike messenger."   
  
This was easier territory. Okay, they were now thinking she had delivered something to him, but hey, who cared. Her whole existence was a lie.  
  
After having finished coffee they got ready for church. When Logan had changed clothes he went to his grandparent's sleeping room where Sarah was just putting on some make up.  
  
"Hey granny!"   
  
"Hey, Logan. You clean up nice!"   
  
"Thanks. So do you. But you shouldn't have called her."   
  
"Why not? You look much happier now."   
  
"But this already is so complicated. And being here together just doesn't make it easier!"   
  
She turned around and looked at him: "What's so complicated? She seems to be a very nice girl. And the way she looks at you makes me feel that she's not angry about being here."   
  
The way she looked at him? "But we don't have that kind of relationship. We don't look at each other all dreamy eyed and forget about the rest of the world."   
  
His granny smiled, "No, of course not!" she said ironically.   
  
"Gee, Granny, there's no way of talking seriously to you about that!"   
  
"Don't be so shy, Logan. That's not you. It's Christmas, the holiday of love. Let's be nice to each other."  
  
"Okay, you're right. Are you going to tell Grandpa not to sing so loud in church?"   
  
They grinned at each other: "Tell them to hurry up, we have to leave in a few minutes!"   
  
"I will."  
  
He went back to his room and got himself a pullover, then he started looking for his grandfather. He found him back in the living room, already dressed for church. "Granny told me we'd have to leave in a few minutes!"   
  
"I'm ready!" he murmured and continued reading his newspaper.  
  
Carefully he knocked at Max' door and when she answered "Come in", he opened and wheeled in.   
  
She looked gorgeous. Instead of her leather pants she was wearing a simple black dress that made her look much more feminine. She must have looked at him, too, because she said, "Wow! I like how people dress up on holidays! You look great!"   
  
"So do you! We have to leave in a few minutes. We'll walk to church, so put on a warm jacket."   
  
"I will. Even though I'm going to freeze my ass off in this dress."   
  
Logan smiled back at her: "That's why I told you! You'll come?"   
  
She nodded and he wheeled back to the door, when she asked: "Logan?"   
  
"Huh?"   
  
"Are your grandparents very religious? 'Cause they go to church and stuff? I've never really been to church except this time when Ben .." She looked at the floor, a little shy.   
  
Logan suddenly realized how strange this all had to be for her. Christmas wasn't something that would have been celebrated at Manticore. So he stayed serious, even though he couldn't stand her cute look. "Not really. It's just kind of tradition to go there on Christmas eve. If you enjoyed Bennett's wedding, you might like this one too."   
  
"Okay. So let's go."  
**A/N:** _I know, it's unfair, but I've written more - even though I'm not going to post it until anybody tells me I should. It's just so embarrassing to post anything nobody reads.._. 


	4. Christmas Eve

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_Thanks everybody for reading it and thanks for the reviews!!!!! When I woke up this morning I had decided to remove the story but you really encouraged me to post more. So here it comes.   
  
And another note for this chapter: Americans be aware: Divine service in Europe is very different from America. Held in very old churches, very serious and with a lot of ceremonies and things like that. Just in case you wonder._  
  
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**Chapter 4: Christmas Eve**  
  
A few minutes later they were on their way to church. Sarah and Steven started and Max and Logan followed. It was already crowded and they had to separate to get seats. Sarah and Steven found some on a bench at the side and Max right next to the aisle so she could sit down next to Logan. He smiled at her. Everything was so good. He loved his grandparents and this world was so whole and complete that you could simply forget that it wasn't everywhere. A little bit of guilt crept up his back but he pushed that feeling aside. The world would still be broken in the morning. And it'd also be next week. Next year, when they'd go back to Seattle.  
  
Max had similar thoughts and wondered why Logan didn't stay here in Europe. His grandparents would like it. But he didn't seemed interested. And she thought of the Christmases she had had before. Even after having escaped from Manticore it had never been like this. The best ones had been the ones partying with Cindy. But until now she had never understood what the spirit of Christmas was supposed to be. Looking at Logan she knew.   
  
He interrupted her thoughts when he asked, "I bet you can't guess what I'll give you for Christmas. And have you already chosen when to open it?"   
  
She looked at him and smiled back, "I didn't expect you'd have a Christmas present for me, since I was supposed to be in Seattle right now!"   
She again had this feeling to get lost in his eyes. It had been the right decision to come here and celebrate Christmas with the person she cared most for. She thought of all the times she had believed she had lost him. The day he had been shot, the day she was on the run and the next one, where he had been in hospital and especially the one where he had tried to kill himself. She wondered if these were things he'd meant when he had told her that on Christmas you speak about what had happened last year. Thinking of all those days her eyes got wet. She breathed deep not to start to cry. Why did this man mean so much to her? When she realized that Logan looked at her, she wept over her eyes and said, "Christmas sentimentality."   
  
He was surprised but tried to ignore it. "Of course I have a present. I decided back home to buy it here, 'cause there are just much nicer things to get. Unfortunately I'll have to wrap it when we come back, but that's it."  
  
The bells started to ring and the service started. When the priest handed candles to everyone and turned the lights off, Logan couldn't help and whispered, "Another brown-out?"   
  
Max chuckled and said, "I never imagined there'd be so many Americans living here!"  
  
Logan nodded, "Quite some, yes, but you just meet them in this church altogether in one room. Usually they all behave like Europeans and hide in the crowd."  
  
The Christmas story was read, a lot of songs were sung and a wonderful preach was held that made Max and Logan even more sentimental because it was about friendship that was stronger than all differences. Max had this feeling that he was talking about them, best friends whatever was to come. Just as she was pushing that thought away she felt that somebody took her hand, pressed it gentle and pulled away again. Surprised she looked at Logan, but he simply smiled. This time she didn't try to escape his deep eyes and for a little moment they seemed to be the only persons in church.  
  
When the Lord's prayer was about to come, Logan indicated Max to stand up like all others. For a moment she wondered if it'd be better to stay seated as Logan wouldn't be able to stand up, but she did as he told her. Logan wished he could do like her and sadness hit him, but he didn't show anything. Stuck in his wheelchair. Sometimes he hated it even more than usual. It didn't take long, though, to get back to the happy-sappy Christmas mood. The last blessing and they searched their way outside. There they found Logan's grandparents, wished everybody a merry Christmas and made their way back home.  
  
Back in the apartment everybody vanished to fetch the presents. When they met in the living room, Steven had already lightened the candles on the Christmas tree. It was so nice. A dark tan with red and golden jewels. Everybody laid down his presents under the tree. One part for Steven, one for Sarah, one for Logan and one for Max.  
  
"So who's going to unwrap the first gift?" asked Max and was introduced to the family tradition.   
  
"The youngest is allowed to start." Sarah explained and Logan smiled,   
  
"Then I guess it's on Max."  
  
She nodded and looked at her presents. Christmas presents under a Christmas tree. She had three presents, one from everybody here. She put Logan's present aside and opened the one Sarah had given to her. It was a wonderful black pullover- made in Europe.   
  
Sarah smiled, "Logan told me black was your favorite color. He didn't tell me your size though, but I hope it fits you."  
  
"Looks as if. Thank you so much. I didn't expect to get anything more, as you already gave me the best present."   
  
Sarah and Steven looked at each other and with a warm smile sent to Max said, "You're more than welcome!"  
  
Logan was next and opened the present Steven had given him. It was quite a big parcel and while opening, his face showed an expression Max had never seen before. Logan looked at his grandfather and said very quietly, "When I was a kid you always gave me sport shoes for Christmas."   
  
Steven nodded and he was obviously very touched, too. "I thought you would need those more. Ran across them in town."   
  
Logan breathed deeply and said: "Thank you so much. I think the snow may come now."   
  
Max still didn't know what was in the parcel - this had been such a scene of love that she was unsure to ask, but Sarah did it for her.   
  
"So guys, are you going to tell us what's in there?" Logan nodded and totally unwrapped the present. It was a pair of all terrain wheels for his wheelchair.   
  
Max sat silently and watched everybody. She had been with Logan to the wedding of his cousin and had learned how he was treated by his other relatives. They didn't know how to cope with someone in a wheelchair. Sometimes she wondered how that made Logan feel. When she had first met him, he hadn't made the impression that the wheelchair was more than another small obstacle to him, but now she knew him better and knew not only since the day that he tried to kill himself that he hated nothing more than being stuck in that chair. His grandparents seemed to know too, and to understand. Otherwise Steven could not have found this present for him. She had never thought about the winter, but snow would really play him bad. When she'd have to leave her motorbike in the garage he normally couldn't get out either. His grandfather had been not that ignorant and found the solution.   
  
When Steven and Sarah had unwrapped their presents, too, dinner was about to begin and Max was proven that cooking was a family tradition. Sarah's goose was as good as anything she had had at Logan's before. After dinner Steven and Max did the cleaning up while Logan and Sarah went to the living room again.   
  
In the kitchen Steven said, "For knowing Logan just for a year you're caring a lot for each other."   
  
Max glanced at him, "We're not a couple or something."   
  
"I know. But I still haven't figured out why not."   
  
"We're just too different, that's all."   
  
"You don't seem to be so different. Maybe you're just scared. When Logan first told me about you I thought it was maybe because of his wheelchair but now that I got to know you, I'm quite sure it's not."   
  
"I don't mind if he's in the chair. I know that he hates it and that's why I hate it too, but it could never be a reason not to be together with him. But we're not like that. Our relationship is different. More complicated."   
  
She handed Steven the last plate and he put it in the cupboard. When he looked at her, he was sure that it could only be a question of time. Just looking at Max made it clear. She loved Logan as much as he loved her. They just hadn't found out.  
  
When they joined Logan and Sarah in the living room, Max was again captured in a world that wasn't hers. Steven started to say something about what had shocked him most during this last year. He talked about the death of a good friend and that he hoped that all his other friends would stay for a long time. He also talked about how happy he was that he was still healthy and happy to know that Sarah would always be by his side. She smiled when he said that he didn't have any great plans for next year except staying together with her. Max couldn't believe it. They had to be married for decades and still seemed to love each other more than anything.   
  
Sarah went on, telling them about how happy she was that Logan was here again this year and not stayed in the US like the year before to work. Max smiled. Yeah, that was the Logan she knew. Working on Christmas. Sarah also reminded them of Logan's parents and how sad it still made her that they couldn't be here, but she kept herself up knowing that they would be happy, because they had left such a great man like Logan, still being nice and smart even after having had such a hard year. Her plan for the next year was to pay a visit to the US and meet all the old friends they had left behind when going back to Europe. Logan said something like "But you have to pay me a visit, too" and his grandparents laughed and said they'd do so.  
  
When Logan watched Max he could see that she didn't know what to say so he continued. He said that Sarah had been right, the last year hadn't been easy for him, but the best thing that happened clearly was that he had met Max. He also said that the last year had proved who were his real friends and that he was happy he had them. His plans for the future had to be packed into a more harmless fashion than they really were. He told something about doing a good job and finding out about this one special criminal he was looking for and Max sure knew he was talking about Lydecker.  
  
Now it was her turn and in this warm atmosphere she felt ready to tell a bit more than she normally would.  
  
"My last year has been more interesting than anything before. Not only have I met Logan, I also found out about the family I didn't know I had. And I wanna say thank you for all this here, this is definitely the evening of the year I will remember best. I've never spent Christmas with a real family, one that's together because they love each other. I wish that my past Christmases would have been a little more like this here. My life has always been complicated and ruled by short time decisions so I don't have any plans for next year, except maybe just continue like I did."  
  
Logan smiled at her and they both knew they'd continue their fight. Together. She thought she would be asked a lot of questions but Logan's grandparents were nice and just let her be alone with her thoughts.  
  
They changed to small talk and it wasn't even midnight, when Steven and Sarah went to bed.  
  
**A/N:** _So tell me - just stupid? Or do you like it? Please review!!! R._


	5. Christmas Night

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_It is so good to know that there are actually people reading this. Thanks for all the nice comments. And here is Chapter 5. Sorry for not updating the weekend. Enjoy it and let me know if you liked it. R._  
  
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**Chapter 5: Christmas Night**  
  
Max left the couch and set down in front of the Christmas tree.   
  
Logan looked at her and said, "Thank you for coming, Max. That's been the best present I could have gotten. I was conscience-stricken because I left you in Seattle. You deserved better than spending Christmas on a bicycle."   
  
"Thank you, Logan. Thank you for being my friend and showing me a real European Christmas, I like it a lot."   
  
"Wait till tomorrow. My mothers godfather and his wife are going to come over for dinner, that's really going to be hard. They are real Europeans. Even though they are not as snooty as my other relatives, they are quite a mess."   
  
Max smiled, "I guess I will survive it. I could still kick their ass."   
  
Logan chuckled, "Better not try it. But it's so good that you're going to stay for another week, so I can show you around a little. We have to see the beautiful old city and go and..."   
  
"...and pretend there isn't a world over the ocean where you can't simply hang out with your friends and enjoy yourself? Where there's always work to be done and downtroddens to be saved?"   
  
Logan nodded, "Yeah. Left my computer at home. Eyes Only is out of business."   
  
"Really?" she asked and when he nodded she still couldn't believe it. Logan and just holidays? But he continued smiling and reality sunk in.   
  
"Logan, this is so cool."   
  
He smiled even brighter and couldn't believe there was someone who was so happy that he was not Eyes Only right now. Most people he knew preferred him being Eyes Only, 'cause that was the guy who could help them. But not Max. He had to think about how they had gotten together. The genetically engineered superwoman and him, the guy on wheels. He cared about her, cared too much. They would never be more than friends, it was just too difficult.  
  
Max looked at the tree and outside the window. Logan casted a reflection on the glass behind the tree and when she saw him in his deep thoughts, she turned around. His chin was placed on his hands, his elbows on his thigh. She had given so much to get to know what he was thinking, but he wouldn't tell her. She had found him thinking like this in front of his windows in Seattle more than once and he had always changed the subject. Even though they had become good friends, there were so many things unspoken between them. But Max wasn't the one to force him. There were so many things she hadn't told him either. And what would it change? She was happy enough to have a friend like Logan. Nothing else mattered.  
  
Never in her life had she considered to be able to celebrate such a wonderful holiday. Last year Cindy and she had had a Christmas tree, too and they had exchanged presents, but there hadn't been a wheelchair in front of her. And the guy in the chair hadn't been part of her life.   
  
She tried to tease Logan, "Earth to Logan! Somebody home?"   
  
His look came back to her from where he had stared and he nodded, "Yeah, I'm back. Sorry."   
  
"It's late, do you wanna go to sleep?"   
  
"No, I'm not tired, I just want to enjoy the moment."   
  
Max nodded, "This room is so friendly and it's such a loving atmosphere here. You are lucky to have a home like that."   
  
"I know. Please be sure I know. I've never considered myself to be a lucky person. I've always had a family that loved me, good jobs with a good salary and enough friends that I never had the feeling to be really lonely and still I've not considered myself to be happy. But it's only since I know you that I feel lucky because I had such a wonderful childhood. I know now that my life has been easier than that of most other people."   
  
Max thought about it and said, "I'm not the measurement here. What about all those other people who kept on living their easy lives? Those who didn't start some kind of Eyes Only and who weren't shot? Don't you think they are luckier than you?"  
  
Logan took a deep breath and said slowly, "Yeah, that's the way it should be. But I've figured out that they are not. Those people don't know about the right values and about their priorities. The last year was a roller-coaster ride when it comes to moods and feelings. Being shot I first didn't think about it and just went on, but when it finally sunk in my brain that I'd never walk again it felt like the end of the world. Then I could walk again and I considered myself to be the luckiest person alive. You know what happened when it was taken away from me again. Maybe that was a fall even deeper than the one before. But looking back at it, it's been a good year over all, 'cause I met you. I will never forget the day you broke into my apartment."   
  
Max smiled. "Me neither. -You're a thief? - Girl's gotta make a living. -Thank god. That's been the strangest thing ever."   
  
They both laughed and Logan couldn't believe how relaxed Max was. He watched the beautiful woman sitting on the floor in front of him.  
  
She answered his look with a request, "Logan, may I ask you a question?"   
  
Now he was surprised. "Why do you ask?" "Because it's kind of personal."   
  
"Ask. You can't be sure to get an answer but ask." he said.  
  
After having waited for a little moment she said, "I'm here with you and your family and the longer I watch all this, the less I seem to know about you. I know that your parents died years ago and that you spent some time with your uncle Jonas and aunt Margot. But I don't get it. Your grandparents seem to love you so much more than your aunt and uncle. Why didn't you stay with them? I don't even know how old you were, when your parents died. It's making me mad. You seem to know everything about me and I know nothing about you."   
  
He thought a little about it and answered, "But that was part of our quid pro quo, wasn't it? I find out about you."   
  
"Yeah, but don't tell me our relationship is still based on that quid pro quo."   
  
"No, I won't. It's just an explanation." He paused, then continued, looking out of the window, "My parents died when I was fourteen. They were killed when the plane that was supposed to bring them back home from their vacation was captured and brought to explosion. My aunt and uncle where the only one's who kept cool. Granny had a nervous breakdown, that's why I couldn't live with them. When she felt better and tried to organize that I could live with them Jonas had already made everything clear. But Granny was great and didn't tell me. She invented some weird reasons why I had to stay with Jonas and Margot and made me feel as if everything was okay. It was more than five years later -I was already on college- when she told me the truth."   
  
"Aren't you angry at your uncle?"   
  
"What do you think?" he snorted, "But when I learned about what had happened the time for justice had passed. What should I have done?"   
  
"Nothing. There was nothing left that could have been done." She carefully asked, "Those terrorists that bombed the plane your parents were in, have they ever been captured?"   
  
Logan nodded, "The first thing Eyes Only did."   
  
"That's why you started it, isn't it?"   
  
"Yeah. Took me a lot of years to actually change to the underground journalism but that's why I started it."   
  
Max looked at him. Logan was always so cool but every now and then she recognized that there was a weak and hurt person living behind that mask. She smiled at him and he smiled back. For a moment nobody said anything.   
  
Then Max wanted to get this Christmas feeling back that had been hidden behind those memories of Logan's and she asked, "May I open your present now? I think I can't wait till tomorrow."   
  
His smile was so cute when he answered, "Sure, why not. But then I'm going to open yours too."   
  
Max nodded and took the present he had laid under the tree for her. She opened the paper and found a little necklace. Very simple and beautiful. Her smile told Logan more than her "Thank you" that she liked it.   
"You once told me you were open to the idea to wear jewelry."   
  
She laughed and remembered exactly when she had said that to him. This was really a day of reflection.  
  
Then Logan opened her present and found a parcel filled with three presents. A basketball, a little teddy bear and a computer game.   
  
"It's not so great like your grandfather's present, but I was lost. Absolutely no idea. Then I remembered that your basketball didn't survive your last game with Bling. The teddy bear simply reminded me of you and the computer game I found here at the airport. I never knew you could do other things with a computer than work. Thought maybe you'd like it."   
  
"I do. Thank you, Max. And don't worry, you're not the one who should worry about my mobility. It was nice Grandpa did, though."   
  
Max nodded and said, "It's just that I sometimes wish I'd know better what you like."   
  
"I like you being my friend. Being here with me. So stop worrying."   
  
Max tried to ignore the cute look he was giving her and suggested, "Before this is getting even more sentimental we should probably really go to sleep."   
  
Logan nodded. She stood up and together they brought the last glasses to the kitchen and lit off the candles. They met again when Logan came off the bathroom and Max wanted to get in. "Sleep tight!"   
  
"You too!"  
  
When Logan stopped next to the bed and pulled the breaks he listened to the sounds in the bathroom but then he pushed all thoughts aside and hoisted himself to the bed. He put his glassed on the table next to him and switched off the light.  
  
Max brushed her teeth and thought about Logan. He had looked so cute only in his boxer shorts and his T-shirt. She looked out of the window and was surprised. It had started to snow. White Christmas. Today everything was just a little too perfect.  
  
On her way to her room she couldn't help and opened Logan's door. "It started to snow." she whispered.  
  
Logan answered, "We can have a snow fight for breakfast."   
  
"Yeah. Good night!"   
  
Carefully not to wake up Logan's grandparents she closed the door and went to bed. She was still very moved from all she had seen and heard today and she wouldn't have been Lydecker's creation if she had slept soon. It took her quite some time to persuade her body to finally fall asleep.  
  
Logan in contrast had fallen asleep almost immediately but woke up in the middle of the night. At first he didn't know why but then he heard something coming from Max' room. He wondered if his grandparents would hear it, too, but then he thought that their room was on the other end of the apartment. He made sure that the breaks of his wheelchair were on and moved himself back in the chair. Carefully not to make any noise he wheeled to Max' room and knocked carefully. She didn't answer and he opened the door. She was laying in her bed, crunched together like a fetus and was wet from cold sweat.   
  
"Logan..." she whispered and he rolled close to wake her from her nightmare.   
  
"Max, please wake up! It's just a nightmare."   
  
And judging from her whispers, he was part of it.  
  
He gently stroke her over her back and continued talking to her, "Max, please... Everything's fine. We're at my grandparent's, nobody here is going to hurt you. You've never in your life been to a safer place."   
  
It took him some minutes, but then she finally woke up. At first she didn't seem to know where she was, but when she saw Logan she relaxed.   
  
"Logan..."   
  
She didn't say anymore and Logan wanted to know, "You okay?"   
  
She nodded, "Yeah, just a nightmare. And a little headache. Sorry for waking you up."   
  
"No problem. Go on sleeping!"   
  
"Good night, Logan!"   
  
"Sleep tight, Max. And dream of something nice."   
  
She nodded again and was glad he didn't ask her about the dream. Seeing him wheel to the door she suddenly realized what was up with her.. Not just a normal headache.   
  
"Logan!?" she said and made him turn around, but it was too late. She started shaking.   
  
Immediately Logan was back at her bed. She was having one of her seizures and now flashbacks seemed to strike her, even worse than the nightmare. She was whispering something he couldn't understand. He suddenly realized that he didn't bring any tryptophan as he hadn't expected her to come. Logan took her bag that was placed on the desk. Luckily he found a bottle of pills and took some out. He stopped in front of the bed and tried to wake her from the nightmare she was going through.   
  
"Max, please swallow those."   
  
For a little moment she stopped whispering and opened her eyes.   
  
"Logan!?"   
  
"I'm here. Max, please swallow these", he asked again. She did and Logan was a little relieved. The seizures started to stop, but Max was still not really conscious.   
  
"Logan, please don't... I'm sorry.... please don't leave me."   
  
"I won't, Max, I'm right here."   
  
"No, Logan, I'm sorry. Don't..."   
  
He realized that she was having flashbacks of him. Maybe the nightmare from before had changed to a flashback? Maybe it hadn't even been a regular nightmare. But what was regular about nightmares anyway? She had told him that she usually had flashbacks of Manticore, but this time they seemed to be about him.  
  
He continued stroking her back. "Max, it's okay! Relax, please relax."   
  
He waited for the tryptophan to adjust her serotonin level and finally she came back. Seeing him in front of her bed seemed to make her face soften.   
  
"Logan, you're still here.."   
  
"Where else should I be? Your seizures better? I found the tryptophan in your bag."   
  
"Thank you. Yeah, I'm better. Still cold though."   
  
He took the blanket and pulled it up to her chin.   
  
"Wait a minute, I'll get you a glass of hot milk."   
  
She nodded and he wheeled himself to the kitchen. He poured some milk in a glass and heated it in the microwave. When he came back to Max, she was still shaking a little. He handed her the glass and she took it.   
  
"Thank you, Logan!"   
  
"Be careful. It's hot and you're still trembling." he warned her and laid a hand on her shoulder to calm her down. She was still breathing fast.  
  
She drank the milk and laid back. "Sorry again for waking you up."   
  
"No problem. Everything okay? You're feeling better?"   
  
She nodded but this time Logan knew she was lying. He could see it in her eyes. Max was thankful that he had come and had given her the milk and the tryptophan, but she couldn't tell him. This flashback hadn't been about Manticore, it had been a version of the nightmare she had had before. It had all been about the day Logan was shot. She still felt responsible for what had happened that day when he had asked her to help him and she didn't care. Now that she cared it was too late. Logan was confined to the wheelchair and the last year had proven that she couldn't change that anymore. But she wondered why she had had this nightmare today and slowly there was a reason creeping into her mind, but too far away to catch it. Logan watched the weak little person in bed in front of him. Max wasn't someone to loose control easily and it still felt as if his heart was bleeding when he saw her having those seizures. He tried to cheer her up when saying, "Guess you didn't dream of Santa Claus coming down the chimney?"   
  
"Not really." she answered and her breathing had changed to normal level again.  
  
Max looked at Logan and had to smile. Without his glasses he was always looking like a younger version of himself. Okay, Eyes Only never wore glasses, but hey - Eyes Only was on holidays. And his eyes were much more intense without his glasses. So intense and so full of worry. Worry for her.   
  
"Everything's okay, Logan, I'm doing better."   
  
He smiled, "Promise?"   
  
She nodded, cuddled herself in the blanket and closed her eyes - only to see the picture of Logan laying on the street. Her instincts made her rise again to not give this picture a chance and before she could notice anything else, Logan was again next to her bed.   
  
"Promise, huh? I don't believe a word. I'll wait here until you're asleep."  
  
God, he was so cute. Max nodded and smiled shyly. She noticed that he hadn't pulled his breaks and so she pulled the chair to get him closer to her bed. Trying this she touched his leg, not on purpose, but long enough to notice that it was cold. Logan smiled when he recognized what she had in mind but shook his head when she said, "You're so cold!"   
  
"I'm fine. Don't bother."   
  
"You're going to freeze and won't even notice. Your legs are so cold."   
  
His legs? He laid his hands on his thighs only to learn that she was right.   
  
"They will get warm when you're asleep and I'm back in my bed. I won't leave you now."  
  
She looked at him and had no idea how to cope with his caring. He wouldn't leave before she was sleeping and till then he would have caught a cold or even worse.   
  
She turned from her back to her side and said, "Okay, then come here!"   
  
He looked surprised. What was she having in mind?   
  
"Come here to me. We can sleep in one bed. It's fairly big enough and you won't catch a cold or something until I'm asleep."   
  
Logan hesitated, but Max continued talking.   
  
After a while he nodded, "Fine. Move over!"   
  
Max smiled and moved to the wall. Logan turned his chair, pulled the breaks on and shifted to her bed. He pushed his legs under the blanket and laid down so that he looked her right into the face. Her heart started beating so loud that she thought he had to hear it. Had that been wise? She had never been so close to him.  
  
Logan hesitated, too, but then he grinned, "How are we going to explain this to my grandparents?"  
  
"We are grown-up. Just no explanations. Snow fight for breakfast, right?"  
  
She smiled and put her arm around him. Carefully she pulled him a little closer and kissed him on the forehead.   
  
"Thanks for taking care."   
  
He looked deeply into her dark eyes and stroke a hair strand behind her ear.   
  
"Want to tell me what your flashback was about?"   
  
She shook her head: "Not now."   
  
"Okay. Try to sleep then."  
  
Max nodded and turned to her other side. Then she moved back until she felt Logan right behind her. He put one arm under her head and the other one around her. He couldn't believe it. He was laying in bed with this wonderful woman and she was cuddling close to him. As if he was the one to protect her and not vice versa. He damned his legs because he couldn't feel her there. Somehow he even felt ashamed because he knew they were touching each other there and he didn't notice. He breathed deeply and smelled her scent of shampoo, the perfume she had put on because it was Christmas and this special note that was just hers.  
  
Max enjoyed laying in Logan's arms. His arms were strong and still could so well be used as a pillow. She was happy to be so close to him. It calmed and disturbed her altogether. Never had she felt so safe and still there was this little Lydecker in her head. Safety is an illusion, emotions are weakness.   
  
When one of his legs had moved and pressed against her thigh she wordlessly took it and moved it, so that his legs touched her in almost the same way his upper body did.  
  
For Logan it took some time to get used to the thought that his legs weren't bothering Max in the same way they bothered him and he smiled silently to himself. Somewhen during the last months he had fallen in love with Max, that was clear for him now. He didn't know when or how, but he knew how happy it made him to have her so close. Even though he was tired he realized that Max' T-shirt had moved up a little and he took his chance to put his hand on her naked belly. For a moment he could feel her muscles contract, then she relaxed again and seemed to enjoy it.  
  
Thoughts about the man laying behind her were whirling through Max' mind. Logan, what are you doing? This makes me lose my concept. She didn't know where their relationship would go from here. But they hadn't solved this problem until now and they wouldn't solve it tonight. So she decided to simply enjoy Logan and with this thought she finally fell asleep.  
  



	6. What a wonderful world?

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_I have to repeat myself: Sorry for my English and thanks for the review. Please tell me what you think of this, I need it!! And... Mistletoes ahead! R._  
  
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**Chapter 6: What a wonderful world?**  
  
When she woke up the next morning, she immediately remembered what had happened last night. Feeling Logan still laying next to her made her smile. Next to her or even under her, like Logan noticed when he woke up. Max had managed to cuddle so close to him that she was almost on top of him. He smiled too and stroke gently over her dark hair.   
  
"Good morning!" she said and stretched a little in a way that reminded Logan of a cat. Must be her feline DNA he thought and answered.   
  
"Good morning? Did you sleep well?"   
  
She nodded: "No more nightmares, no more seizures, no more flashbacks. What time is it?"  
  
Logan looked at his watch: "Almost ten."   
  
"Ten? I never slept that long."   
  
"There's a first time for everything. But we should get up if we wanna do some sight seeing."  
  
"Don't forget the snow fight for breakfast." she reminded him and jumped out of the bed. She opened the window and said: "White Christmas. Aren't Christmases supposed to be white?" She turned around and looked at Logan. He was still laying in her bed and looked to small, weak and immovable. Even more than normally in his chair. And where were his glasses? He must have left them in Daniel's room.   
"Everything is white outside. We could go out and build a snowman." she continued.  
  
He sat up, pushed his legs out of the bed and changed to the chair. He realized that Max was watching him and it made him feel uncomfortable, even though he would never let her notice. He wheeled to the window next to her and looked through it. She was right, everything was white outside and grinning he took a hand full from the roof. Max had no idea what was supposed to happen and was a little shocked when Logan put the snowball in the back of her T-shirt. She whirled around, caught the ball and threw it back. Both got armed and started a little fight with two snowballs when somebody knocked at the door.   
  
"Yeah?" said Max and Sarah looked inside.   
  
"Hey Max, hey Logan. Breakfast is ready!"   
  
Both nodded and Sarah vanished again.  
  
Max asked, "So, we're going to end up this fight and have breakfast?"   
  
Logan nodded, "Yes. Don't worry about taking a shower, my parents won't have taken one either."   
  
"I'll just put on a sweater and some pants."   
  
"Me too. Meet in the dining room?" Max nodded and Logan went back to his room. He chose a sweater to wear and put on some comfortable jogging pants before joining his grandparents and Max with breakfast.   
  
"Good morning and merry Christmas!"   
  
"Merry Christmas! Want some coffee?"   
  
"Yes please." Steven took the mug he gave him. "What about you, Max?"   
  
"Is there any chance of getting some milk?"   
  
Logan looked up and to Max but her smile told him to calm down.   
  
"Sure, no problem." Steven went to the kitchen and got her a bottle of milk.   
  
"Did you sleep well?" Sarah asked and Logan and Max nodded as if nothing had happened.   
  
After breakfast they opened the last presents and Steven asked: "So, what are you going to do today?"   
  
Logan answered, "I'm going to show Max around, do some sight-seeing and stuff. When will the lovingly guests be here?"   
  
"For coffee, so around four."   
  
Logan said, "I thought they'd come for dinner?! We gotta hurry then."   
  
Max suggested, "I'd like to go and jog a few meters, so maybe you could start in the bathroom?"   
  
"Okay, but don't try to run back to the US. Would be a little wet."   
  
"I'm not Forrest Gump. I'll be back in about half an hour."   
  
"Fine!"  
  
Max put on her jogging shoes and left the apartment. Outside she breathed the cold winter air. It smelled like snow and she turned up the speed. Not as fast as she could have, but she knew that her genetically engineered body needed movement. And today Normal wouldn't make her pedal throughout the town. After half an hour in the winter wonderland she returned and found Logan showered and ready to go in his room.  
  
She went to the bathroom and when she had put on some clothes and dried her hair she found Logan in the living room, speaking to his grandfather.   
  
"Hey men! Ready to go?"   
  
Logan nodded, "Sure! Just exchanged the wheels. Might be useful for all the snow outside."  
  
Max nodded and he followed her to the wardrobe.  
  
They put on their jackets and left the apartment together. With Max's rental-car they went to town and started the tourist route. Logan was a nice guide, not knowing too much about the history, but enough to give some background information and some stories he was able to tell were really funny. Together they visited the old churches, fought their way through the Christmas market and dived right into history when visiting the old aisles, which were so small, that Logan sometimes had problems to get in.  
  
They didn't notice how time passed until Logan looked at his watch, "Oh no, it's almost four! We've to get back."   
  
"Don't worry, it's been a wonderful day," Max said and made Logan smile.   
  
He turned to her and said, "Yes, it has. But now it's going to be hard. I want to say sorry for everything that's gonna happen."   
  
"Don't worry. Let's face the dragon."  
  
Logan sighed and they went back. Of course they were late and Logan recognized the car on the street.   
  
"They are already here."   
  
He opened the door, they put their jackets in the wardrobe and Max followed him into the living room, where they were all sitting together.   
  
"Logan, Max, come in." said Steven and Logan wheeled to the couch.   
  
"George, Marie! Merry Christmas! May I introduce you to Max? Max, these are George and Marie Andersen."   
  
Max nodded and smiled and stayed behind Logan. She had this feeling that something would happen and she was right.   
  
Logan apologized, "Sorry, about being late, but we totally forgot about the time."   
  
"No problem," Sarah accepted and the catastrophe was about to start.   
  
Marie said, "Logan, nobody told me you were still in a wheel chair. What happened? Did you have another accident? The other one's almost a year ago, isn't it?"   
  
Max made a grimace and couldn't believe it. Not that their accent hurt her ears, but this was so impolite.   
  
Logan had apologized ex ante, but it seemed as if he was the loser in this game. Logan grimaced, too. Another accident? He had noticed he was in a wheelchair, he noticed every day. But how stupid could somebody be?   
  
"No, still the same accident. Might be enough for the rest of my life," he said with a bitter tone in his voice and only Max's hand on his shoulder made him calm down a little.   
  
There was an uncomfortable moment of silence in which Sarah hoped that Marie would realize how horrible she had behaved, but she was wrong.   
  
"Oh, okay. So Max is your nurse?"   
  
Logan thought he would be able to stand up and kick her ass, just because he was so angry. But again it was Max who made him calm down.   
  
"No, I'm sorry, no nurses around. But do you need a nurse or why do you ask? Maybe you could just stay seated and I'll try and call the paramedics so they can take you to a hospital," she said in a voice Logan had never heard her speak in. Very nice and just a little too polite, but the content of her sentence hit right into the target. Marie and George looked astonished.  
  
Steven tried to save the day by saying, "Marie, so.. what's James doing?"   
  
"Jamie? He's doing to fine at his job. He.."   
  
Okay, everybody's safe. Logan sighed and Max relaxed. Marie's dear son James and his heroic actions.   
  
Max stopped listening, because she was afraid that she'd stand up and tell some persons about Eyes Only and a real hero, and instead sat down next to Logan and watched him. He ate his piece of cake and seemed relieved that he wasn't the topic anymore. When all had had enough cake and coffee, Max helped Sarah to get the plates and cups back to the kitchen.  
  
Alone there, Sarah asked, "Why don't you and Logan go out for a walk or something? Marie is really at her top today."   
  
"Thank you so much. It was really embarrassing when she started talking about Logan's disability as if it was something he invented."   
  
"Yeah, I thought the same way, too. Get yourself out and don't come back until half past seven, okay?"   
  
"Thank you so much. I'll just have to get Logan out of the net of the spider."   
  
Sarah looked at her and Max realized what she had said. "Sorry."  
  
She went back to the living room, stood right behind Logan and whispered, "I really need a little walk after so much of this delicious cake. Wanna join me?"   
  
Logan knew Max good enough to notice an escape he was asked to join in. "Sure, good idea." he said and followed her to the wardrobe. Before Marie and George even noticed what had happened, Max and Logan had already left the apartment.   
  
"So we are on the run?" Logan asked and Max nodded, "Yeah, once again."   
  
"Thank you for that. I thought I was going to be impolite."  
  
"I already was, in fact, but the escape was your granny's idea. She told us not to come back before 7:30."   
  
"That's nice. So what would you like to do?"   
  
"I don't know. Just go for a walk or something similar."   
  
"There's a park not far from here. We could go there, build a snowman or just walk around."   
  
"Fine."  
  
Together they walked to the park. Nobody said a word until Max broke the silence.   
  
"I'm sorry that you were right and that Marie said what she said. She's so stupid."  
  
"Don't bother. It's not your fault."   
  
"I know, but I really hated her for saying such stupid things."   
  
"Me too, believe me. -Did you have another accident- God, what's she thinking? That I use this wheelchair just because it's so comfortable?"   
  
He had said this last comment quite loudly, much louder than Max was used to. She was a little shocked and tried to calm him and herself down by saying, "There will always be stupid persons like her. Don't think too much about it."   
  
"-So Max is your nurse then-" Logan still wasn't finished. "What century is she living in? Just because I'm in a wheelchair doesn't mean I need a nurse to push me around and bring me to the toilet or whatever."   
  
"Logan, you know that and I know that and everyone who matters knows. Please, don't think so much about what this stupid woman said." Logan didn't answer.  
  
They walked around in the park and found a café. "Do you want to get in? We could have a hot chocolate." Logan proposed.  
  
Max smiled, "Yeah, why not."   
  
She was happy he was obviously doing better. They went in and found a seat in a corner. The waitress was very nice and kidding around with her they got to talk to the clique at the next table. All Americans visiting Europe.   
  
One of them asked, "Why don't you come over? We're just trying to find someone who is able to find out why there are always persons who know so well about you and give you the right presents and those who don't have the slightest idea."   
  
Logan turned his chair around and Max joined the others on the bank. When she was still trying to put her leg under the table, Logan was already answering the task.   
  
"That's easy. It just depends on how much you know and maybe love someone."   
  
Max thought about it for a little moment and involuntarily touched the necklace she was wearing. She loved it. She had never gotten a better present.   
  
"Very good answer. Not too hard, though. What's your name?"   
  
"Logan."   
  
"Logan? My name is Michael. This is my sister Geena, her boyfriend Charles, Jillian, a friend of mine and Joe, her brother. Who's your girlfriend?"   
  
Logan and Max shook their heads and smiled. Girlfriend was way better than nurse, though.   
  
"I'm Max, but I'm not his girlfriend. We don't have that kind of relationship. We're just friends, that's all."   
  
Jillian said, "Sometimes that's more than enough." and all nodded.  
  
"So what are you doing here?" asked Geena and Logan explained, "My grandparents invited us for Christmas and we took the chance to celebrate in a country where you can actually still walk around in parks even though it's already dark outside."   
  
Not that they wouldn't do it in Seattle, but that wasn't the point.   
  
"Where do you live in the US?" Michael wanted to know.  
  
Logan said, "Seattle. Where do you guys come from?"   
  
"Half of us from Montana and the other from Boston. Visiting friends here who left the US a few years ago when they found out that it's not the best country anymore."  
  
They continued talking and finally decided to stay in contact as it would be nice to celebrate New Years Eve together. Michael and Logan exchanged their telephone numbers and Max and Logan decided to move on. They paid and went to the door when Michael called something even Max didn't understand. Turning around they heard all of them laughing.  
  
Logan was first to notice and pointed up. "It's been a trap. Look!"   
  
They stood right under a mistletoe. Max was shocked for a little moment. There was this thing about last night they hadn't talked about and now she was supposed to kiss him? But these guys had just saved her day. Logan's mood was fine again and hers had bettered, too. So she shook her shoulders and smiled. Logan did the same and pulled her to his lap. What are we doing here? both thought when their lips met. But then all thoughts were gone. Logan stroke over her hair and Max hugged him tight. She sensed his lips, tasted him and felt his tongue touching her lips. Not that any of this would have made her feel uncomfortable. The kiss grew much more intense than it was supposed to be and as the clique had expected - as they had just told them they didn't have that kind of relationship.  
  
When their lips separated both weren't able to catch one clear thought. Like in a dream they looked into each other's eyes until the guys started to laugh and applause. A smile went over Max's face and she started to laugh, too. She stood up and waved before leaving the café. Logan followed her, smiling.   
  
Okay, the kiss had been provoked and it hadn't been the first one but somehow this felt so much better. He could still taste her. Feel her soft lips. If he'd be able to, he'd have had wobbly knees.  
  
They continued walking for a moment, then Max said, "I'm going to build a snowman. Looking forward to it since it started to snow."   
  
It didn't take her long to roll two big balls and put one on the other. Logan handed her the head he had made. Not having a carrot he had mad the nose from snow, too. They searched for a stick and two stones for the eyes and their result made Max smile.   
  
"I like him."   
  
"Me too." Logan stated and moved back a little so Max could watch her piece of art.  
  
She was woken from her dreams when a snowball hit her. She turned around and saw Logan hiding behind a tree his lap full of snowballs. She tried to arm herself but had to accept two more hits before she could throw the snow back at Logan. They were fighting a little but Logan hit her much more often. Wondering about it she decided that she wasn't used to so much snow and that Logan's basketballs games did well. She took so many balls she could carry and started to run after him. He moved as fast as he could but Max hit him more often and finally Logan was laughing so hard that he didn't see a stone and almost tipped over. He tried to prevent the fall by leaning back but that just made it worse. He fell.  
  
"Logan!" Max cried out and ran to him. He was laying on his back, wept the snow out of his face and laughed.   
  
When she kneed down next to him he asked, "You think that's fair? A genetically enhanced wonderwoman fighting against me?"   
  
"Fairness? There's no fairness in snow fight." said Max and asked, "You're okay?"   
  
Logan looked at her, the way she was sitting above him. Last night came to his mind and the kiss. The kiss. He sat up and suddenly Max was so close. He looked her right into the eyes and she didn't pull away. Not at all. She answered his look and in her eyes was something that made his heart stop beating. He leant forward, just a little, and closed the last few centimeters of space between their lips.  
  
Max had expected this to happen when Logan had looked at her like this, but she hadn't it expected to be like this. Very carefully at the beginning, then filled with desire. They held each other tight in their arms and when they stopped kissing it was like before, as if the world had stopped turning. They looked at each other, very shy at first, but then both started to smile.   
  
"Max..."   
  
"Logan.."   
  
They hugged each other till Max said, "You're going to freeze if we don't stop laying around in the snow."  
  
She helped Logan back in his chair and his watch again told them to go home.  
  
Dinner was very silent. Marie didn't ask any stupid questions and still Max and Logan said "Good night" very early to go to bed.   
  
Even though they hadn't spoken about it, both kept going on as if nothing had happened, but when she was laying in bed, Max thoughts wandered to the next room. Logan had been very silent during dinner. Something was bothering him and her and she couldn't sleep anyway. The last night had been enough for the next week. She waited and listened to the sounds that were so different from the one's at home and after a while decided to stop turning around in bed and go back to the living room. Everybody was asleep and so she moved silently not to wake anybody. In the living room she decided to lighten the candles of the Christmas tree and sat down in front of it.  
  
**A/N:** _I was asked where this takes place, where these Christmas traditions come from. I grew up in the north of Germany, close to the Baltic Sea (Hello, Chapter 3) and that's where these traditions come from. It's close to the way Christmas is celebrated at my parent's. I just invented this thing with opening the presents half and half. _


	7. Confessions

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_This chapter was so hard to write. I totally re-wrote it and I'm still not quite happy with it. So please tell me what you think about it. I'm longing for reviews!! _  
  
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**Chapter 7: Confessions**  
  
About the same time Logan got up to get something to drink from the fridge. In the kitchen he found Steven sitting at the table, reading a newspaper. "Hey. Not sleeping?"   
  
"Logan, hey. No, I tried to but even counting sheep didn't help. I'm getting old and don't need so much sleep anymore," he smiled and while taking some juice out of the fridge Logan said, "I think I've still got a jet lag. Couldn't sleep either."   
  
Turning to Steven he saw him folding his newspaper and leaning back in the chair. "Jet lag, huh?"   
  
"Yeah!" Logan didn't get the joking tone in his grandfather's voice and starting pouring the juice in a glass.  
  
"Logan, you're kidding me. What happened this afternoon?"   
  
Logan looked up. What did he know? "This afternoon?"   
  
"When you and Max came back for dinner there was a tension in the air, you could have cut it with a knife. So don't tell me you just went for a walk." The way Logan's cheeks blushed was enough answer for Steven.   
"Max told me yesterday that you two were 'not like that' and I knew right away it could only be a matter of time, but I didn't know it would take only a day."   
  
Logan sighed. He wasn't used to talk about his feelings. Bling had forced him sometimes after the accident but normally he would avoid topics like this one.   
  
"Come on, let an old man give you some advice." Steven grinned.  
  
Logan smiled, "You're not an old man. And I'm not used talking about such things."   
  
"But you used to. When you were a kid you would climb in my lap and tell me..."   
  
"Yeah, tell you about the big bad boy that took away my lollipop. This is a little different."  
  
"That's exactly why you should tell me. If you'd have told me you were going to marry Valerie, a catastrophe might have been prevented." Steven told him, half joking, half serious.  
  
Slowly Logan nodded. "Maybe you're right." He sipped from the glass and put it back on the table. "But it's so difficult. Everything concerning Max and me is so difficult. This afternoon we ran in a trap and had to kiss under a mistletoe."   
  
Steven whistled and chuckled, "That's nice."   
  
Logan ignored him and continued, "And later we had a snow fight. I fell out of the chair and when Max came to have a look if everything was right we kissed again. But that's it. Nothing more. There are still all these things unspoken and I don't know if one of us will ever be brave enough to start talking."   
  
"What's so hard you can't speak about it? Do you love her?" Logan watched his hands in his lap, touching his thighs and again just being able to feel the fabric of his boxers under them. Then he looked up and answered the question. "I've thought about this so often. And finally the answer is yes. Yes, I love her. More than anything before."   
  
Steven nodded. He had expected an answer like that. "And the things you need to talk to her about, are they more important, weighing heavier than your love?"   
  
"Not for me. Nothing is more important than loving her. But what if she doesn't have the same feelings and if for her what I have to tell her weighs heavier than being loved by me? I'm not the Yale student anymore, I don't have dates every evening and know that the girls adore me. This time it's different. I'm the one in love and maybe this time it will be me who will be kicked in the ass." Logan felt embarrassed and avoided Steven's look. It wasn't easy to admit his fears.   
  
But Steven smiled assuring. "Could it be you need new glasses? Don't you see? Max will never kick your ass. I don't know what it is you have to tell her and maybe it's better if I don't know, but I'm sure just to know that you love her will make her be able to cope with it no matter what it is."   
  
But Logan's fear was still there. Unconscious he stared at his legs and finally admitted, not looking up, "I always think she deserves someone better than me."   
  
Steven felt the need to take Logan to his arms, hug him and tell him everything would be okay, but he knew it wouldn't be right.   
  
"Whom she deserves is somebody who loves her. I had the same feelings when I met your grandmother. I didn't feel worthy, because she was the girl who just had everything. Her parents were rich, she had the best grades in school, was pretty and obviously going to be homecoming queen. And I used to be the daydream believer. Do you know the song? I still think it was written for us. My parents just had enough to survive. It took me some time to ask her for a date, but when we got to know each other it all didn't matter. All the differences weren't important anymore - we were soulmates. And still are."   
  
Logan smiled. Soulmates. Steven saw him hesitate and asked, "Do you know what it feels like? To have found your soulmate? To know exactly what the other one's thinking? To.."   
  
"..share the same dreams?" Logan finished.   
  
"You don't need to be soulmates to have the same dreams of a family, a nice house.."   
  
"No, I didn't mean those dreams. Dreams you have at night. To have the same dream at the same time."   
  
Steven wanted to say something like 'this never happens' but then he recognized Logan wasn't hypothetic. "You and Max had that?"   
  
"Yeah. When she was transfusing me. We both shared a dream in which we were dancing."   
  
Steven shook his head, "And you think Max doesn't deserve you? You were made for her. You were made for each other."  
  
Logan's fear had suddenly disappeared and he smiled. "Maybe you're right. Maybe I should talk to her."   
  
"You better do so soon. No need to waste anymore time."   
  
"I'm going to wake her up. Right now." Logan was overexcited.   
  
"No need to do that. She's in the living room. I think she couldn't sleep either", Steven smiled.   
  
Logan was already out of the door when he turned around, "Thanks." Steven just waved his hand and told him to go.  
  
Max heard some noises but her inner being had decided it couldn't be a danger and didn't react. When she heard a CD being put in the CD Player and soft music began to play, she turned around. "Logan?"   
  
"Hey, Max!"  
  
She had been thinking about him all the time. Thinking about what had happened this afternoon and last night. She didn't know if it was real and - much more important - if she wanted it to be real. Did she want to change her friendship for this? She hadn't been sure about the answer. The kisses had been wonderful, but what about Eyes Only and their quid pro quo? Even though their friendship wasn't built on it any more, they still had a business relationship, too.  
  
Suddenly the picture from her nightmare came up in her head. Logan, almost dead, laying in the street in the middle of Seattle. She wished it had never happened. But it had and now she was doing the exact opposite of what her little Lydecker tried to remind her of. She wasn't supposed to get involved, to get so close to somebody that she'd suffer if she lost him, but she hadn't been careful with Logan. Just thinking about losing him made her go mad and that in this world, where everything was just perfect. She couldn't just run away any longer, she had proved it once when she had returned because she found out Logan was ill and now he had become the main element of her life. As essential as the air she was breathing or the food she was eating. She wouldn't run away any longer, she would stay. Stay with Logan. Zack was right, it was a weakness, but on the other hand she felt as if it was going to make her stronger than she'd ever imagined.  
  
She loved him. Loved him more than she'd ever imagined to be able to. But what was the conclusion to draw from that? Both couldn't afford a relationship, it was too dangerous for them. But nobody had asked her before and now it was too late. She wanted to know what Logan was thinking about all this, if he had meant the kiss to be real and she was scared of what he might answer. He'd break her heart if it wasn't real. And now he had come to her, had glided out of his chair and was sitting next to her, leaning against the couch and watching the candles.  
  
"Couldn't sleep?" she asked to break the silence.  
  
He nodded, "Yeah. You neither?"   
  
She nodded, too and he continued, not being able to look her in the eyes. "Max, I need to tell you something."   
  
She was surprised. "Anything. Don't you know that?"   
  
"This is very personal. If you're not in the mood, maybe I should tell you sometime else."   
  
"No, it's fine Logan. Just spill it."  
  
He breathed deeply and said, "At first I want to thank you. Thank you for being my friend, thank you for caring and thank you for not treating my like a puppy that needs to be carried around. Being around you makes me feel independent and still I know that you'll always be there to help me."   
  
"Logan..."   
  
"Please, let me go on. I don't know if I'll be brave enough otherwise."   
  
She nodded. "Okay."   
  
"You are what keeps me going. You're the reason why I get up in the morning. You're like the sunshine that lights up my otherwise sad little life. And I ..." he hesitated. " ...I love you for that. Love you for making me feel that you care about me. You know, me, not some paralyzed guy in a wheelchair. I don't know if I'm right, maybe that's not the way you want me to feel, but I can't change it anymore. And I don't want to change it. I dreamt of kissing you again since this time in the car, in front of the cabin. Today it felt so different. No need to say goodbye. It's more a hello to a life we could share."   
  
Uncertain he looked at her and asked, "Too much? Are you going to run again?"   
  
She smiled at what he had said. Smiled and started to cry.  
  
"Max, please, don't cry. If this is.."   
  
She placed a finger on his mouth, "Shut up, Logan. It's fine. I promise I won't run. I spent the whole evening thinking about us and what happened this afternoon. What I have been taught about emotions in my childhood and how good it feels to actually ignore it all. I wanted to ask you if what I felt when you kissed me was real. If you wanted it to be real or if we were supposed to go on pretending as if nothing happened. And then you come here and tell me what you just did and that just makes me cry. I love you too, Logan. I'm just so happy. And of course you have been right. I love you for the person you are. I don't care about wheelchairs or paraplegia. I don't know why it's never been an issue, but I just love you, Logan Cale."  
  
She looked deep into his eyes and he thought that he had never in his life felt better.   
  
But there was this other thing he had to tell her.  
"Max, before this is going to be real, you need to know something." He blushed and promised to himself that he was going to finish this without running away. "It wouldn't be fair to make you think everything's fine if it just isn't."  
  
Max was confused and concerned, "What is it?"   
  
"Well, paraplegia is not just about walking...."   
  
She knew he was talking about something that meant very much to him, but she didn't get it. As it was obvious that she didn't understand, he had to be more explicit.   
  
"It's not only my legs that won't do what I want them to. There's this one other thing that's important for a relationship. For a real relationship."   
  
Slowly the fog lightened. "Oh. You're talking about.."   
Looking at his face blushed from embarrassment she didn't continue. They had never talked about his medical condition. Not about his legs, his feelings going hand in hand with it and especially not this. His red cheeks told her that he would have preferred the earth to form a hole and let him disappear than to have to tell her what he just did. She couldn't help but smile. He was so cute.   
She messed his hair a little and said honestly, looking straight into his eyes, "I don't care, Logan. I really don't care."   
  
At first he couldn't believe what she was saying but her eyes told him she wasn't lying. When he tucked a curl behind her ear she saw his eyes getting wet.   
  
"You did not really think I would stop what we just started because of that, didn't you?"   
  
He didn't answer but his expression was so full of emotion that she answered it for herself.  
"You actually did." She stated as a matter of fact.   
  
"Yeah, maybe I did" he repeated, still fighting the tears and caressing her hair.   
  
Max smiled a little and said, "But I've got to warn you, too. With my screwed up genetics I'm not easy anyway. What about seizures, heat cycles and my siblings? What about those guys that are after me and put both our lives in danger?"   
  
Logan didn't say anything but instead pulled her close and kissed her. Then her whispered in her ear, "I don't care. And you know that. It's never been about you being an X5."   
  
"And it's never been about your disability. So this is real?"  
  
"Definitely." He answered and his smile spread when she kissed him.   
  
When she leaned her head against his shoulder he laid his arm around her and held her tight. Together they sat silently in front of the tree, both feeling so relaxed, freed from burdens they had been carrying around for months. Logan played with Max's hair and when she looked at him, she smiled. "You look so satisfied."   
  
He kissed her on the top of her head, "I am." Lost in his thoughts he continued, "I've wished this moment to come for months. When I was able to walk again I thought it would be possible for you to fall in love with me, but before it could happen I ended up back in the chair. I really thought that my chance had passed. I never imagined you could love a cripple like me."  
  
She interrupted him with a soft voice, "I will never forget these days. The one you stood up and the one you really considered.. you know... You are no cripple, Logan. I already told you that day that you have never not been whole and complete to me. But you still don't believe me, do you?"  
  
"I don't know..." he not really gave an answer, but Max wanted to clear this once for all times.   
  
"Logan, will you stop thinking of yourself as somebody who's not worth the best things in life. I love you just the way you are. Okay, there are millions of men running around on this planet with their legs working perfectly well, but none of them is Logan Cale. None of them my favorite straight forward superhero. The most altruistic man I ever got to know."  
  
Stroking his back she continued, "I know that you will never forget the day you were shot and be sure I'm more than sorry that I wasn't there to protect you, but I want you to accept that I don't care if you're up on your feet or wheeling around. For me it's just important that you're there."   
  
Even though she didn't really say it, he had heard something more. -More than sorry?- "You feel guilty because of it?"   
  
She nodded slowly, feeling a little embarrassed to tell him. "Guess what yesterday's nightmare was about?!" she stated sarcastically and Logan felt as if he was loosing ground.  
  
"Max, please, don't."   
  
"Don't do what? Feel guilty? You have to spend the rest of your life in a wheelchair on my account."   
  
"On your account? Come on, you know that's not true. If we figured out right it was Bruno Anselmo pulling the trigger. He should feel guilty and we both know he didn't. Don't take his place, okay?" Max nodded slowly and all of a sudden a thought came into Logan's mind that made him feel unsure, "But this isn't all about pity, is it?"   
  
Max face relaxed and turned to a smile. A true smile. She knew how much Logan hated pity. "No chance, man. This isn't about pity, this is all about love."  
  
She cuddled closer to him when he hugged her and kissed him. He answered her kiss and said, "Maybe we shouldn't both bother that much."   
  
"We should both accept that the other one's right."   
  
"Yeah. You're no freak and I'm no cripple. Quite a pair, though!"   
  
She laughed a little and saw he had closed his eyes. When a tear ran down his face she was surprised, as she had never seen Logan cry, but then she realized what this all had to mean for him. She was living with the thought of being some engineered being for all her life and had gotten used to it, but it was only a year ago that Logan's life had not been changed by the accident. He had never cried in front of her, not even when she almost turned insane because of all the worries about him. For him it had been likelier to kill himself than to let all his frustration and anger out. But maybe that was over now. Maybe he'd now share it with her.  
  
She didn't know what to do and so she just moved to his lap and took him in her arms like a little baby. He pressed his face to her shoulder and really started to cry. She held him tight with one arm and used the other hand to stroke over his back. Maybe this action now was about pity, but Mr. Eyes Only himself had just turned into a week bundle of sadness. How couldn't she be sorry for him?  
  
She held him tight until the sobbing stopped and kissed him on his forehead.   
  
"You wanna talk about it?"   
  
He didn't answer at first, then said, "I hate it so much, Max. I hate what this day has done to my life. I hate the way it has changed it. Normally I try to see the positive aspect of it, that you wouldn't have come back if it hadn't happened, but I can't do that all the time. Bling once told me to scream a little and I couldn't understand what good for, but maybe he was right. Maybe I'm going to explode."   
  
"So scream, if you want to. Or cry if you prefer not to wake your grandparents. I don't know what I can do, but I promise I'll be here, no matter how long it takes."   
  
Tears kept pouring from his eyes and made Max feel so helpless.   
  
"Sometimes I wonder if I will ever leave the chair again. When I can't believe Bling and his mind over matters talk. Sometimes it sounds all so stupid and senseless. Oh Max, I hate it so much." He relaxed a little in her arms and continued after a short break, "I could never understand how people can accept not being able to walk, but today I got an idea. I love you even more than I hate it and now that we've been honest, maybe it's gonna be okay."  
  
She felt honored when he had said it and kissed his forehead again.   
  
"Promise me, that this is real." he said.  
  
She answered, "I promise." She wept away his tears. "I'm sure it will be okay. I love you."   
  
"So do I. I'm sorry, Max."   
  
"What for? There's nothing to be sorry for."   
  
He nodded and pulled Max backwards, so that her back was leaning against his chest. She smiled and cuddled close. When Logan placed a kiss right on her barcode it made her shiver. "Strange feeling." she whispered and Logan whispered back. "What do you think knowing that you sit on my legs and not being able to sense it feels like? Strange feeling, too."   
  
"Your legs are just your legs, Logan, nothing to be ashamed of."   
  
"I know."   
  
"And still it feels strange when you kiss my barcode. It's a sensitive spot I guess. But I like it."  
  
"Yeah?" asked Logan and kissed her neck again. It still made her shiver and she giggled.   
  
"Yeah!"   
  
"Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?" he asked and when she turned around and smiled he knew the answer.  
  
Laying together in his bed Max needed to know something. "Logan?"   
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"Why did you come to the living room?"   
  
He chuckled, "I had a nice conversation with Steven. That cleared a lot of the things that were turning in my head."   
  
Max moved even closer to him and said, "We have to thank him."   
  
"Yeah, we have to."  
  
**A/N:** _So, did you like it? Please let me know, I'm so unsure about it. Use the little button or e-mail me at rajana@gmx.de. I really need it!_


	8. When Dreams...

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_Okay, here's chapter 8. I need to get the storyline going, so it's a little less fluffy. But only a little.  
  
Thanks everybody soooo much for reading and even more for your reviews. I never thought people would actually read this story but now there are crazy guys out there telling me to continue.   
  
The lines are from Cam-Era's "Fried Salmon". I don't own that song either._  
  
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**Chapter 8: When Dreams ...**  
  
Max wasn't sleepy but she enjoyed just laying close to Logan and cuddling with him in his bed. Finally.  
  
He hugged her tightly, even when he was already sleeping. As if he was afraid that she would just disappear. She smiled and one of the songs that were playing when they had been in the living room came to her mind.  
  
_"Watching over your sleep  
As you lay by my side  
Gently stroking your hair  
Gives me reason enough  
To stay wake all night..."_  
  
She wondered if Logan had chosen the CD on purpose but decided it wasn't important. But she could do it. She knew she could spend the whole night laying here to watch Logan sleep.   
Still thinking about how good it felt to have been honest her looks stopped at Logan's chair in front of the bed. She had known it was hard for him and that he had been hiding to not let her know how he really felt about it, but she hadn't known about his insecurities. That he hadn't crossed the line of being "just friends" because he felt unworthy. Unworthy. Was that a good word for it? Logan was worth everything for her. He deserved the best in the world to make him happy. She still couldn't believe she was to be it, but Logan had proved to her that she was more important to him than his pride. After a couple of hours just thinking and being happy and feeling safe she finally slept. Again.  
  
When she woke up in the morning, Logan was still asleep. Max stood up to go to the toilet and when she came back, sat down in Logan's wheelchair that was standing next to the bed. Watching him again she saw that he was waking up.  
  
The moments he hated most in his life were the one's in the morning, when he wasn't sleeping anymore and not really awake. He had dreamt of Max, of being together with her on a ball. They had been dancing and Max had been the most beautiful woman there. His woman. But waking up he realized that he wouldn't dance with Max.   
  
But when yesterday's talk came to his mind, he started to smile. Max. She was his. But where was she? The bed was empty. He slowly turned around and saw Max sitting in his chair. It felt weird to see her in a wheelchair. The person he loved most and the thing that stood for all he hated most in his life. But it couldn't be too difficult to separate them again. He was happy enough that Max was still there.   
  
"Hey, beauty!" he smiled.  
  
She smiled back, "Hey, sleepy. Good morning!"   
  
"You too."   
  
He reached out his hand and she took it and stood up, the chair slowly rolling backwards. Logan pulled her close and Max sat down on the bed again and leaned forward to kiss him.  
  
He was full of emotions when he remembered what she had told him. That she loved him and didn't care if he could walk. He wondered what his grandparents would say if they knew he was in love with someone designed to be a soldier. But he knew his grandparents liked Max. The rest of his family didn't matter anyway. He did and he loved her.  
  
Max laid down again, cuddling close to him and smiled when he laid his strong arms around her and asked, "Have you been up all night?"   
  
She shook her head, "No. I slept again. Not as long as you, but I slept."   
  
He was still a little insecure about what had happened yesterday. "Max?"   
  
"Huh?"   
  
"Do you want to take back anything that happened yesterday, now you slept over it?"   
  
Max couldn't believe what she was hearing again. "Logan, you stupid guy. Didn't you listen to me yesterday? I don't want to take back anything. I'm so happy we finally crossed that border. I'd love to take back the time we wasted on this 'we are just friends' thing."   
  
She kissed him and he grinned, "Just needed to hear that."   
  
Max nodded and asked, "What about breakfast? I'm hungry."   
  
Logan looked amused, "No chance. Looks as if somebody wanted to join me in this bed and kicked the wheelchair away." He grinned and she joined him.   
  
"I like the idea. I could always push away your chair and simply let you stay in bed as long as I want you to."   
  
Logan said, "But you'd miss my pancakes then. I just thought of getting up and make breakfast. My grandparents always have this continental breakfast with rolls and jam and stuff, but I know they love pancakes."   
  
"Okay, I'm done. For pancakes I'd even help you to get out of bed."  
  
He kissed her and made it even harder for her to get up, but she did and pulled the wheelchair back to the bed. After having pulled the brakes on she offered Logan her hand and helped him. Both knew he didn't need her help and for the first time since his accident he felt fine accepting it. They put on some sweaters and went to the kitchen together. Logan's grandparents seemed to be still in bed. Logan started baking some pancakes and Max covered the table. They were just ready when Sarah and Steven appeared.   
  
"Good morning, Max! Hey Logan!"   
  
"Hey granny! Grandpa! Sit down."   
  
"That's a nice surprise. You should go to bed early more often." Sarah smiled but Logan ignored her. During breakfast Sarah got rid of her anger about Marie and their visit. Max and Logan shared some of those very special looks that were supposed to be hidden, but of course Sarah noticed.   
  
When Max went jogging after breakfast and Logan helped her in the kitchen, she said, "You're not telling me that you still don't have 'that kind of relationship', do you?"   
  
Logan blushed and shook his head, "No. We... well.. we clarified some things yesterday, thanks to grandpa. Seems we now have that kind of relationship."   
  
"And you're obviously happy about it." she stated.  
  
Logan nodded, "More than happy. It's the best thing that ever happened to me. I'll send you a postcard from cloud number nine." He wheeled out then stopped and turned around, "Thank you for calling her, granny."   
  
Sarah smiled, "It's been a pleasure."  
  
When Max had started running there was again this feeling of having changed body with someone. What was happening? She had never been so happy, never felt so safe and never loved someone so much. She cared for a lot of people, for all her friends and especially Cindy and Kendra, but she had never loved someone like Logan. It seemed as if her life had finally turned into something that was too good for her. With a bride smile on her face she ran back and right under the shower.   
  
Later she found Logan reading a book. He looked up when she came in. "Hey! Nice pullover."   
  
"It's the one your granny gave me for Christmas."   
  
"Granny got it. With us. Of course."   
  
"Did she say anything commenting it?"   
  
"Not really. I told her we clarified some things yesterday."   
  
"Clarified, huh?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
He smiled. "So, what are we going to do today?"   
  
"Don't ask me. I'm a total stranger in this world. What would you do now, if I wouldn't have come?" Max wanted to know.   
  
"No idea. Maybe go for a walk at the beach or something. Just stand on the bridge, look over the sea and think about my life."   
  
"Sea sounds nice."   
  
"We could start with a walk at the promenade. Is it okay if we take your car? My grandparents need theirs to meet some friends in the afternoon."   
  
"Sure, no problem."   
  
"Okay, let's go then." He left the room and she followed him.  
  
When they left the apartment and Max closed the door behind Logan, Sarah and Steven looked through the window. "Do you think she's the right one for him?" asked Sarah.  
  
Steven smiled. "Never met anyone better before and believe me - I'm the one who knew that Valerie wasn't right for him. But Max - they really love each other. I guess they have gone through a lot together even though they will maybe never tell us." He laid his arm around his wife.  
  
Max sat down on the driver's seat and waited for Logan to sit down next to her, then he told her the way to the freeway. Instead of to the sea bridge they drove to a place where the promenade was right next to the beach, where no trees hid the view to the sea. After having parked the car they walked silently next to each other, each caught in his thoughts.   
  
"I just can imagine how hard it must be for you to stay in Seattle if this is the alternative." Max said.   
  
Logan continued wheeling when he said, "Staying in Seattle isn't hard. It's just getting back there what makes it so difficult. Getting reused to sector passes, hover drones and curfews. But I feel as if I can change something there. I would never leave Seattle if I don't have to."   
  
"I wonder what people at home did on Christmas. What about Bling and Cindy?" Max asked.  
  
Logan said, "Eat loads of chocolate. I left Bling a big box Granny sent me."   
  
"Should we call them to tell what has happened?"   
  
Logan grinned, "Happened? What happened?"   
  
Max stopped and asked herself who had exchanged Logan. This guy here was so relaxed and funny, sometimes so unlike the Logan she knew from home. Would it all be over when they went back?  
  
He noticed that Max was missing and turned to stop in front of her.   
  
"You're an idiot!" she stated but he didn't seem interested. He took her hand instead, pressed it and pulled her to his lap.   
  
She smiled this incredible smile of hers and laughed right into his face. "What's this supposed to be?"   
  
He gently kissed her and asked, "What does it feel like?"   
  
"Feels like I want to have more," she answered and kissed him back. He hugged her and together they sat staring over the sea, totally satisfied with their lives.   
  
"This feels like the normal life I always wanted to have." said Max but Logan had another opinion, "Doesn't feel normal to me. This is one of the moments I will never forget."   
  
"Me neither."  
  
Right then Logan's cell phone rang. Max sighed, "This can't be true!"   
  
Logan smiled and took a look at his phone. "It's Michael. The guy from the café. No work, Angel."   
  
Max nodded when Logan answered the phone. "Hi Michael! ..Yeah thanks... sounds nice but I'm not so sure... no, but don't you think it will be crowded?... yeah... wait a minute" He covered the speaker with his palm and asked, "There's a New Year's Eve party at a hotel in the city. They are offering a fantastic dinner and dancing music. Michael asked if we would like to join them. We could sit at one table for dinner but I think there will be a lot of people and I don't know if you.." He didn't finish the sentence but Max knew what was to come. He wasn't sure if it was okay for her to show their relationship in public.   
  
So Max took the phone and spoke into it, "Michael? This is Max. We'll come. Does Logan know when and where?....Okay, do so... See ya!"   
  
She disconnected the line and handed Logan the phone: "Stop thinking so much."   
  
They stayed at the sea for a couple of hours, even trying to actually walk at the beach. Max had been sure it would work fine for Logan, because it was cold, the sand was frozen and even covered with snow, but she hadn't considered that Logan was heavier than herself. It took them some time, but finally they were able to enjoy the beach. Logan couldn't stop smiling at Max. He'd never even thought of trying a walk at the beach but with Max's light mood, everything was easy. Why not just try it out. And it was good to have Max with him. If he'd get stuck in the sand she could simply carry him home.  
  
When they came back to the apartment it was already late afternoon. They sat down in the living room, cuddling close on the couch and both reading a newspaper. Suddenly Max noticed an advertisement and said: "Look, Logan, they still have cinemas here! This one is showing old pre-pulse movies."   
  
Looking at the ad Logan got an idea, "Max, what would you say if I'd ask you for a date?"   
  
"A date?"   
  
"Yeah, a good old traditional date. We could go to a nice and cheap restaurant and have dinner and afterwards we go to the movies. Like all teenagers do."   
  
"Teenagers in Europe, maybe." Max stated but smiled. "But yes, I'd love to. When will we have to leave?" she asked and Logan looked at his watch.  
  
"In about an hour? There's a restaurant next to the cinema. It will be crowded with students, but I guess you don't mind."   
  
Max smile grew wider. "Only an hour? Logan, you're going to kill me. I have absolutely nothing to wear!" she said and Logan wasn't so sure if this was real or if she was just kidding. But Max stood up, kissed him on the forehead and disappeared with the words: "Pick me up in an hour."   
  
He was actually having a date with her.  
  
**A/N:** _So please give me feedback. I need it to improve the plot, the characters and just everything. Please review, otherwise I will not know if anybody out there read so far and I simply need to know!! Your feedback is what makes me goon writing. Rajana@gmx.de_


	9. Date

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_Sorry it took me so long but finally - here's chapter 9. And in better English - thanks to willow for her betaing!!  
  
If you still don't like it or think I deserve some tomatoes you might want to review. And please review if you like it.   
It's your reviews that make me write more. _  
  
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**Chapter 9: Date**  
  
Max went to her room and searched for something to wear. She liked playing this game of dress up for her date. Of course it was only a game. What she wore wasn't important. Logan had seen her in the dress she wore at Bennett's wedding and he had seen her in nothing but a towel. Why should she worry about clothes? But somehow how she looked for him was important. Just . . . somehow.  
  
She finally decided on dark jeans and a red pullover, and took them with her to the bathroom, where she took another shower and washed her hair. Taking her time with her hair and make-up, she smiled at the results in the mirror. Looking at her watch, she recognized that an hour had gone by already, so she hurried back to her room.  
  
A little later she heard Logan's wheels on the hardwood floor, and then a knocking at the door. Max opened it to find Logan smiling at her. "You look gorgeous!" He said, making her grin in return.   
  
He was wearing a pair of gray pants and under his thick black jacket she could see one of those turtleneck pullovers that made him look so cozy. For a moment she thought about forgetting about the date and staying at home, but then she decided against it, and replied, "You're not so bad yourself!"   
  
"You ready? There's a taxi waiting for us."   
  
She nodded. "Sure. Just need my jacket." She wondered briefly why he had called a taxi, but the minute she looked at him she knew he wouldn't have wanted her to drive them around on this date. She smiled to herself. There were worse things than taking a cab.  
  
As he waited for Max to put on her jacket, Logan couldn't stop feeling like the luckiest person alive. He opened the door for her and followed her out to the car. It didn't take them long to get to the cinema and watching the cab pull away from the curb, Logan said, "I think we should get our tickets now, so we'll have good seats. Then we can have dinner, okay?"   
  
Max nodded and followed him inside. Looking up to the screens presenting the movies that were shown, Logan asked: "So what do you want to watch?"   
  
Max shrugged. "No idea. Don't know any of it."   
  
"So just choose one. As far as I know, they're all good."   
  
As she scanned the titles, one of them attracted her attention. "Sleepless in Seattle?" she suggested.   
  
Logan smiled. "It's a really cute movie. Very romantic."   
  
She smiled, too. "This is a date, so romantic is fine!"   
  
Logan nodded. "I'll get the tickets." He turned around and wheeled to the cashier. The counters were quite high, made for people standing, and Logan felt a little ridiculous, but behaved as if it was nothing. No need to show Max. When they had gotten their tickets they went to a nearby restaurant.   
  
Logan had been right, it was crowded with students but they were lucky and found a nice table in a corner. Logan wheeled to the table and put one chair aside. Max smiled at him when she sat down but he knew something was bothering her. He was used to being stared at, to have people look at him, but Max wasn't. Well, at least not this way. He knew that a lot of people, especially men, watched her wherever she went, but that was because of her great looks, not because of a disability. And now they were going out together, to a public place for the first time. Very different from a family wedding where everybody knew him. He hated for her to be stared at, but her smile told him she didn't care, so he said nothing.   
  
As they smiled at each other, they were interrupted by the waitress. "What would you like to drink? And would you like to see the menu?"   
  
Logan nodded and she handed them the menus. "I'd like to start with a glass of red wine," he told the waitress.   
  
Max agreed. "Me, too."   
  
"Thanks. I'll give you a few minutes to look over the menu and be right back." The waitress disappeared and Max and Logan started looking at the menu.   
  
"I can't believe how many choices there are. I'll never be able to decide!" Max said.  
  
Logan laughed. "Close your eyes and point at something!" he suggested jokingly.   
  
Max grinned. "Okay, I'll try!" When the waitress came back with the wine they had chosen, they were ready to place their orders.  
  
"Logan?"   
  
"Huh?"   
  
"Was it like this before the Pulse in Seattle, too?" Max wanted to know.   
  
Logan shrugged. "Kind of. There have always been differences between the U.S. and Europe but if you mean that you could go to a restaurant, eat whatever you wanted to and that kind of stuff, then the answer is yes. It was a lot like this. When I was a kid, my Dad often took us to very expensive restaurants and I hated it. The food was delicious, of course, but everything was so serious and you had to behave well. I decided then that I would never ever go to that kind of restaurant again if I didn't absolutely have to. Luxurious meals are for at home, but if you're lazy, I'd rather come to a place like this, that's not so uptight."   
  
Max smiled. "I think I prefer this, too. Not to your home-cooked dinners, though." Still smiling she took Logan's hand that was lying on the table and squeezed it. He smiled back and felt very lucky.   
  
Max wanted to know. "What's a movie theater like?"   
  
"It's kind of a mix between theatre and TV."   
  
"Well, that explains it," she said sarcastically. "Logan, I've never been to the theatre either!"   
  
He couldn't help giggling. "Don't worry, Max. It'll be fine. It's like watching TV with a lot of other people. We'll have popcorn, drink Coke and just enjoy it. I managed to get two seats next to the aisle in the last row, so I'll be right beside you the whole time."   
  
"Okay." For a moment Logan thought he heard something like relief in her voice - but that couldn't be. Max, nervous about going to the movies?   
  
"Logan?"   
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"I'm a little worried about all of this. I haven't had a lot of dates in my life and this is important to me. I'm afraid I'll screw it up."   
  
The adorable look she was giving him was irresistible, but so was the fact that she was really sharing her feelings with him. With a wide grin he tucked a curl behind her ear and said, "You can't screw this up, Max. Everything is fine - more than fine, actually. I love you, you don't have to be afraid of anything."   
  
"I'm afraid I could even screw this up. I'm quite good at it, actually. But I'll try not to think about it. I think our dinner is here!" She looked into the direction where the waitress was heading towards them with two plates.  
  
They enjoyed their meals, sharing bites of each other's meals, and every once in a while noticing that the other one was smiling.   
  
When they had finished dinner Logan entertained Max during dinner by telling some of his childhood memories of his grandparents. When they finished, it was almost time for the movie, and they went back to the theater. Together they decided on sharing popcorn and Coke and, carrying it all, they took the elevator to the right room. Logan showed Max where to sit down and transferred to the seat next to her. Folding his chair he pushed it aside so nobody would stumble over it.  
  
Max discovered that the arm rests where movable and pushed it up so she could cuddle closer to Logan. When he laid his arm around her, she kissed him on the cheek and said, "I think I like movie theaters a lot!"   
  
He grinned. "You'll like it even more when the lights are turned off."   
  
Still smiling, Max said, "I think I understand why movies where so popular for teenagers on dates before the Pulse."   
  
When the advertisements started, Max was fascinated by the variety of products that were shown. "You can actually buy all this stuff?" she asked.   
  
Logan nodded. "Yeah. We should go shopping tomorrow!"   
  
"That's a good idea!"   
  
"I assume you don't have to wear anything for New Year's Eve and need to buy some new clothes, right?"   
  
Max smiled. "Maybe."   
  
Finally the lights were turned off and the movie started. Both watched in silence until the scene with Annie and her Mom talking about "magic" was shown. Logan couldn't stop the smile spreading all over his face. Magic. Yeah, that's exactly what it was with Max. Magic. From the moment he met her first until this very moment. He pulled her tight and kissed the top of her head, then put a finger under her chin and tilted her face up to look at him. When she saw his smile she knew exactly what he was thinking, and cuddled even closer. Magic.  
  
They continued watching until Sam started speaking about his dead wife. "You touch her for the first time, and suddenly...you're home." Logan felt Max move and looked down at her. She had tears in her eyes, and he got a little scared. "Everything okay?" he whispered.   
  
Max nodded. "More than okay. It's just the way it feels with you too." He wept her tears away and again smiling she kissed him.  
  
When the movie was finished, Max and Logan stayed seated until everybody else had left the room. Logan couldn't believe how much the movie had touched Max and asked, "Max? You all right?"   
  
She smiled at him. "Yeah, just thinking. Let's get out of here."  
  
Logan moved to his chair and followed Max outside. "So, you did like the movie?"   
  
"Yeah. I liked the movie, I liked being at the movies, and I liked being next to you. Thanks for this, Logan."   
  
"I should be the one thanking you, Max. But you know, a date is only over when I've brought you home."   
  
Max grinned. "Oh yeah?"   
  
"Yeah."   
  
"But I don't want to get home right this second. I don't want this evening to end!" she said, and Logan took her hand.   
  
"Me neither. Any ideas?"   
  
"There's a park over there."   
  
"But it's pretty dark and there's a lot of snow. I don't want to get stuck. What do you think of walking home instead of driving?"   
  
"Fine with me."  
  
Logan wheeled away from the main street to a smaller and less crowded one and they started their way back. "It'll take us about an hour." he commented.   
  
Max nodded. "I can do that."  
  
"Me too. Except if I get stuck in the snow."   
  
"Oh, well, you know, I might decide to help you," Max kidded and Logan loved it. They walked without speaking for a while. Max was deep in her thoughts, and Logan smiled when he felt her laying a hand on his shoulder. "Logan?"   
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"What's it like to have had parents that loved you and to lose them?"   
  
Logan had expected a lot of questions but not that one. "Parents?"  
  
"I was thinking about the little boy in the movie. Joshua. He was so cute, and the love between him and his Dad was obvious. I wondered what it would feel like, to have been loved as a kid."   
  
Logan pushed his wheels a few times before answering. "But you've always been loved, even as a kid. What about Zack, what about your other siblings? They loved you."   
  
"I know. But it wasn't the same as having parents. I'm more interested in the love between children and parents. What's it like?"   
  
Logan needed some time to find the right words. "When you're a child, you don't think about your parents loving you or loving them back. You just take it for granted, as long as you have it. You assume that your parents will always be there for you, that they'll always protect you. Parental love is very much about protection. When you grow older you learn that your parents will not be able to protect you from everything but you know for sure that they'll always try. That they'll do their very best. And that's what makes you stick together, that's what makes you a family." He hesitated, then said, "Sorry, it's hard to explain."   
  
"You did fine, Logan. Thank you. But what about when your parents died? What was that like?"  
  
"I felt very alone and very unprotected. All of a sudden there is nobody you can always run to and who will protect you, even when you've done something wrong. Suddenly you're responsible for everything you do. On your own. It takes some time to get used to their missing support and to learn how to do it yourself. I guess it's a little bit like you felt after leaving Manticore. Not that bad, but a little like it."   
  
He turned around to see her and found her staring at the ground. "Max?"   
  
"Sorry. Yeah, maybe losing your parents is like being separated from your brothers and sisters and from the life you know. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever be able to have a family. I try to live a normal life every day, but every day I have to learn that I'm not supposed to actually succeed. In a normal life you don't get seizures, don't have crazy brothers like Zack and ..."   
  
Logan interrupted her sentence. ".. and don't have friends in wheelchairs. There is nothing like a 'normal life,' Max. Every life is different and in every life you have to face other obstacles. And that's got nothing to do with having a family. You've proved more than once that you are able to love and to care. And to protect. That's what you need for a family. I don't know how often I'd have died without your protection."   
  
Now it was on Max to interrupt.: "And I without yours. You're the most protective person I know. You're my guardian angel."   
  
"I wish I could do more. Protect you from everything that's happening around you."   
  
Max smiled. "I know. But you don't have to. You're not my father."   
  
Logan stopped his chair, turned around and pulled her down for a kiss. "Thank God for that! Max I don't know about the biological stuff, but I know you and I know you'll be the best mother any child could hope for. But you've all the time in the world. You don't have to think of planning a family now!"   
  
She nodded. "Yeah. All the time in the world."  
  
They continued to walk home and Max asked suddenly, "Can I ask you another question?"   
  
Logan sighed a little. Her questions were getting harder. "Sure."   
  
"How comes you know so much? You always have an answer for everything."   
  
It took him a moment to realize that she was joking and he again stopped and turned around: "You're getting a little saucy!"   
  
She climbed on his lap and answered, "Thank you, Logan. Thank you for trying to answer even the most silly questions."  
  
"Your questions have never been silly. But difficult. And I'm really tired."   
  
"Yeah?"   
  
"Yeah!"   
  
She wrapped her arms around his neck and started to kiss him passionately. "When you're doing this I want to get home even sooner,." he said, and made Max'ss thoughts drift into another direction. After what she had learned yesterday, she was wondering what being intimate with Logan would be like.   
  
She didn't want to go faster than necessary. After all the time they had known each other one night more or less wasn't important, but she had never been intimate with somebody she actually loved. And never with somebody who was paralyzed. And never with Logan. She felt the conflicting emotions of fear and anticipation collide inside her as she stood up and whispered in Logan's ear, "So let's go home."  
  



	10. Shopping

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_I'm sorry it took me so long to post another chapter but unfortunately I have a life and especially a job outside ff.net :-(  
  
I considered finishing the story but somebody told me it would be nice not to wait that long. So here it is and I promise the next chapter will be posted much faster.  
  
Thanks to willow for making this readable for native speakers (she promised me to post tomorrow, so don't worry) and if you have any comments (good or constructive), please press the little button at the end of the page and write something in this window that'll pop up._  
  
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**Chapter 10: Shopping**  
  
When they came home, there were no more lights on. Logan's grandparents were obviously in bed. Quietly they took off their jackets and went to Max'ss room. Logan stopped at the door and smiled. "Good night, Max."   
  
She had already gone in, quite sure he was following her, and turned around. Recognizing his smile she understood he was again playing the date game. "Oh. This is the moment where I have to decide if it's going to end like this, with a kiss or still going on, right?"  
  
"Yeah." Logan couldn't help himself and started to laugh.   
  
Max looked at him. "Well. um... would you like to come in?" she asked with a innocent smile.  
  
"Only if you want me to," Logan answered and Max was lost.   
  
"Of course I want it. Please, Logan! I don't want to sleep alone tonight. I don't think I ever want to sleep alone again."  
  
Logan wheeled towards her and only stopped, when she leaned down to kiss him. "Me either," he whispered and let her sit on his lap. Max put her arms around his neck and leaned her head against his shoulder.  
  
"I thought you were tired," she murmured, looking deep into his eyes, which didn't seem tired at all.  
  
"I had a chance to relax a little when you stopped asking the hard questions."  
  
"Do you think we should go to bed even though we're not tired at all?" Max asked carefully and waited for his answer.  
  
Logan hesitated. Maybe this was going a little too fast. On the other hand they had slept in one bed the last two nights. Why not tonight? It didn't have to happen anything more than the nights before. "Yeah, we could go to bed."  
  
Max slipped of his lap and went to the door. "I'm first in the bathroom."  
  
Nodding Logan followed her to get a T-shirt and some boxers from his room. He was quite sure that Max loved him and wouldn't run away too easily, but he was still scared. And it wasn't getting better when Max's head suddenly appeared behind the door. "Don't even think of putting on your pajamas. I want to meet you in my room clothed just the way you are now."  
  
His heart was beating fast when he returned to her room after having gone to the bathroom. Max had lit some candles and was sitting on her bed. She stood up when he came in. "Hey," she whispered softly and sat down on his lap.  
  
Logan cleared his throat and tried to sound relaxed. "Hey yourself."  
  
But Max wouldn't have been Max if she hadn't noticed his unease. "Logan, nothing's going to happen you don't want. Just tell me to stop, okay?" He nodded and she smiled back at him. Logan took her head in his hands and pulled her close for a kiss.   
  
Max responded to his kiss and let her hands slip under his pullover. Slowly she pulled it over his head and threw it over a chair. Still dressed in his T-shirt, Logan felt brave enough to partly undress her, too. The green tank top she wore underneath made her eyes shine in the candle light. Dark eyes, full of love and concern. For him.   
  
"It's okay, Max", he said and she slowly removed his T-shirt.   
  
"I wanted to do this since we first met," she whispered, gazing at his muscular upper body. She knew he was working out to compensate for his disability and she had to admit that it had really paid off. He looked great. She started to let her hands move over his chest and she loved it. She loved the soft hairs and the muscles underneath. She loved the almost voiceless moan that escaped Logan's mouth and she smiled wide.  
  
"Max", he whispered and slowly caressed her cheek, then decided to move on. He pulled her tank-top over her head and threw it the same direction as his T-shirt. Only clad in a sports-bra he couldn't take his eyes of her. "God, Max you are so gorgeous. I have never seen anything as beautiful," he said, placing small kisses on her throat and neckline. He smiled at the goose-bumps that appeared and at the look Max gave him.  
  
"Logan..." she whispered, then slowly stood up when he stopped. Not knowing what she had in mind, Logan felt weird when he saw her taking off his shoes and socks.   
  
Max smiled. "I love your feet. Just as much as I love the rest of you."   
  
Logan knew that his pants were the next to go when Max started to open the zipper, and he wondered how they would manage. In the first weeks after the accident his pants had given him a lot of trouble. He even had suggested wearing skirts because they would have been much easier to put on or take off, but Bling had just laughed at him. He had gotten used to the routine by now, but he didn't know if Max would know how to do it.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted when Max told him, "Lift."   
  
He did as he was told and pushed himself up, hands on the wheels. Max pulled the pants down and Logan sat back down again. He put his hands around her small waist and pulled her close. Kissing her bellybutton, he opened her pants and slowly pulled them down. When he saw her standing in front of him, wearing nothing except her bra and panties, he knew he didn't want to go any further. Not today.  
  
"Max?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah?" she whispered back.  
  
"Is it okay for you if we just stay like this? I don't think I'm ready for anything else right now," he explained quietly and felt a little ashamed. But Max simply smiled one of her million-watt smiles and nodded.  
  
"It's okay. I just want to have you next to me in bed," she reassured him.  
  
"I think I can handle that." Logan smiled back and released the brakes to wheel closer to the bed. Max waited for him to lay down, then blew off the candles and moved close to him, facing each other, their lips only inches apart. Logan's hand started to move over her body, starting at her face, then going over her shoulder down her back and to her belly before he hugged her. "Thanks for understanding and not pressing."  
  
"Don't think so much, Logan. I'm scared, too, believe me. But I've got this feeling that everything will turn out right. Doesn't matter when or how."  
  
He nodded and kissed her. "I'll never let you go. You're the best thing that ever happened to me,", he said, suddenly tired. He was asleep within a few minutes. Max continued to stroke his back and cuddle against his naked chest and felt safe and warm. It didn't take her long to fall asleep either.  
  
When Max woke up early the next morning, she found herself still in Logan's tight embrace. Only a few weeks ago she wouldn't have believed that she could actually sleep being so close to someone. She would have said something about needing freedom and the panic that would ensue at such closeness. But Logan couldn't be close enough. She knew he'd need a little more time, but she was okay with that.  
  
She heard somebody knocking at the door. "Max?" She heard Sarah ask.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Breakfast is ready. You want to come?"   
  
"Sure."  
  
"Is Logan with you?" Sarah asked and Max smiled.  
  
"Yeah, he is. I'll wake him up," she answered.  
  
He was still asleep, a little smile on his face. Max slowly caressed his back and played with the soft hair on his naked chest before carefully kissing him. When he pulled her even closer she asked, "Logan? You awake?"  
  
"I don't know. If this is a dream I don't want to wake up. But if it's true that Max Guevara is lying next to me almost naked, then... yeah, I'm awake."   
  
"Good morning, then."  
  
Logan finally opened his eyes and smiled. "Morning, Angel."   
  
"Your grandmother just called us for breakfast."  
  
"Does that mean I have to get up?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah, that's what it means. And it means you have to put on some clothes."  
  
When they appeared for breakfast they were both dressed, and happy smiles were plastered on both of their faces. "Any plans for today?" Steven asked and Logan nodded.  
  
"We went to the movies yesterday and watched all the commercials. That's when we decided we have to go shopping."  
  
Sarah looked up. "We just talked about going into the city. If you want, we can go together and forget about our little town here. There are many more stores there, and bigger ones, too, and it'll only take us an hour to get there."  
  
Logan shrugged and looked at Max. She nodded. "The bigger the better, I guess."  
  
Steven smiled: "If Max and Logan are able to be apart for a few hours, we could even do girls and boys shopping."  
  
"Girls and boys shopping?" Max asked.  
  
"He hates waiting for me when I try on clothes and I hate waiting for him when he's looking for video recorders or TV sets he'll never buy," Sarah explained.  
  
Max nodded: "Got it. I think I would prefer girls shopping."  
  
After breakfast they went back to their rooms and Logan asked, "Are you okay with this?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You okay with going shopping with Granny?"  
  
"Of course I am. You're here to visit your grandparents and all you do is spend all your time with me. The weather is beautiful, and I think we'll have a great day. All four of us."  
  
Logan smiled and kissed her. "You wanna take a shower first?"  
  
About an hour later they were in the car on the freeway. Steven was driving, Logan sat next to him and Sarah and Max in the back seat, Max behind Logan and Sarah behind Steven. Needing to feel his touch, Max had placed her right hand on Logan's shoulder and he held it with his left hand, squeezing it every once in a while. When they arrived, and had found a place to park the car, Max got out and fetched Logan's chair from the trunk so he could change seats. Max leaned down to kiss him and he pulled her close and deepened the kiss.  
  
When Steven called both of them blushed and looked up. Max grinned and followed Logan around the car to where his grandparents were waiting.  
  
"We thought we would meet for lunch," Sarah said.   
  
Steven added with a wide grin, "That way you two wouldn't be separated for too long."  
  
Logan smiled back and said, "Sounds good to me."  
  
"Do you know where and when?" Max asked Sarah.  
  
She nodded. "At 12:30 in a restaurant near city hall. I know where it is and so does Steven."  
  
"Fine with me."  
  
"Shall we?" Steven asked.  
  
Logan nodded. "Yeah." He pulled Max down for a last kiss. "See you at lunch. Have fun."  
  
"You too. And don't spend too much money."   
  
"I won't." He followed his grandfather who was waiting for him a few steps away.  
  
Max turned to Sarah and asked, "So, where are we going?"   
  
"Depends on what you want to see. We can do some window-shopping in this street where there all the expensive stores are, then turn left at the end. There's a street with a lot of stores where they sell good-quality, affordable clothes." "Sounds good to me."  
  
Max found out very soon that Sarah knew a lot about fashion and designers and was willing to tell her about it. But Max couldn't believe what she was seeing here.  
  
"I've only been to one store like this in my whole life. I didn't think so many of them actually existed anywhere in the world."  
  
"You've never been out of the U.S. before?"  
  
"No. And I was only nine when the Pulse happened."  
  
"Do you want to go inside? We can just watch, if you want to."  
  
"No, thanks," Max refused. "These dresses are so elegant, and..."  
  
"You can wear elegant dresses. I saw a picture of Bennett's wedding."  
  
"You did?" Max was astonished.  
  
"Logan e-mailed me."  
  
Max smiled and Sarah smiled back. "He was proud to have you with him."  
  
"I guess. I was glad he asked me to go. But I still don't want to go in here."  
  
They went on and looked around the stores with the more moderate prices. Sarah made Max try on different pullovers, pants, and even some skirts, but Max wasn't satisfied with anything.  
  
"Are we looking for something special?" Sarah asked. Max looked at Logan's kind grandmother with affection, and a little embarrassment.  
  
"Well, there's this party on New Year's Eve and I would like to...well...I'd like to look really good and surprise Logan a little."  
  
Sarah smiled wide. She had come to regard Max as a strong, independent and self-confident young woman, but she was helpless when it came to Logan and the emotions involved in their relationship. She was obviously in love with him.  
  
"There's a store on the other side of the street. We should go there," Sarah suggested.  
  
They did, and Max again had to admit that Sarah knew what she was talking about. The store had a lot of nice dresses and ensemble outfits. Before Max had even taken in everything, Sarah had already come back with three dresses. "Here, try these on."  
  
Max nodded, took them and went to the dressing room. The first one she tried on had a similar cut like the one she had worn at the wedding. She showed Sarah but she shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe a little too much."  
  
Max agreed. "It's a little much for this party, I think. I'll try the next one."  
  
She did but Sarah still wasn't pleased. "No, definitely not your color. And I don't like the way the skirt is cut. I gave you another dress, didn't I?"   
  
"You did. And it's my favorite, that's why I saved it for last."   
  
Max disappeared again and changed clothes. This dress was really her favorite. It was black, a tight top fully covered with sequins, held up by only two thin shoulder straps. The skirt was very simple, a little tight but still wide enough to be able to move comfortably. She put it on and smiled at the mirror. She liked it.  
  
Sarah smiled too, when she saw her. "Max, that's fantastic. You look great."  
  
"Thanks, I like it, too. I'm going to buy it."  
  
Max changed back into her own clothes and was on her way to the cashier when Sarah stopped her. "Max, I'd like to pay for it."  
  
She shook her head. "No way. You've already done too much for me. I can't accept anything else," she explained, and started to walk past her to the cash register.  
  
Sarah grabbed her arm and held her back. "No, please Max. You have no idea how happy it makes me to see Logan and you together. I know he has had a hard year, but now...well, I've never seen him happier. Please. I want to say thank you and I'm quite sure that bike messengers are not paid that well. And it's not a problem for us, be sure of that," Sarah finished, smiling pleadingly. Max knew she had to give in.  
  
"You're right, bike messengers are not paid that well. But please stop thanking me. I've never met anybody better in my life than Logan. Making him happy is not exactly altruistic. He makes me even happier."  
  
Sarah smiled, took the dress and paid before they left. "Do you need anything else?" she asked Max.  
  
"No, but what about you?"  
  
"I prefer watching. We could just walk through the streets and slowly head to the restaurant. Whatever interesting shops we come to, we'll go in, okay?"   
  
"Sure."  
  
Logan and Steven weren't on the lookout for clothes, but rather for all kinds of electronics, and were first to arrive at the restaurant. They had a problem finding a table Logan could reach, but they finally managed.  
  
Max and Sarah joined them just a short time later. Max went straight to Logan, sat down next to him, laid her arm around him and kissed him. "Hey."  
  
"Hey." Max knew that there were people staring at them but she didn't care. She simply ignored it and asked, "Did you buy anything?"  
  
He nodded. "Yeah, just some computer stuff. What about you?"  
  
"Something to wear. But I won't show you before New Year's Eve."  
  
Logan smiled like a little boy waiting for Christmas. "Okay, I'll have to live with that."  
  
"Don't worry, it'll be worth the wait," Sarah teased him.  
  
They had lunch together and decided to stop shopping and do some sightseeing instead.  
Enjoying the great weather they walked through the streets, Steven telling them about the sights, like several old churches and the big harbor.   
  
Logan smiled when he felt Max carefully caressing his neck. He followed his grandparents a little longer until the need to touch Max grew too strong. He called, "Sorry, but I have to kiss this girl!" to make them stop.  
  
He stopped the wheels from turning and, since Max knew what was about to happen, she sat down on his lap. "What girl?" she asked.  
  
Logan hugged her and answered, "The one and only," before he kissed her soundly on the lips.  
  
Sarah and Steven had stopped at the sound of Logan's voice, and they waited patiently. Steven kidded his wife, "Do you think we'll be invited to the wedding?"  
  
"Maybe. I hope so. I'm really happy for them. Logan needed a little mirth in his life and I do like Max."  
  
"Me too."  
  
"Fine, 'cause I have an idea. They're going to stay for another 3 days and I'd really like to make it something special for them," Steven said mysteriously.  
  
Sarah was skeptical. "What idea? I think being here together is special for them enough. But if it's nice..."  
  
"My ideas are always nice." Steven smiled before he continued, "But this one is special. And it's not only for them, but for us, too. You know my cousin has that cottage on the North Sea?"  
  
Sarah nodded. "Yeah. On the island."  
  
"He's skiing in Austria. We could spend the next few days there. The house is big enough for the four of us. If we take the bedroom in the first floor Max and Logan can stay downstairs and everything should work fine."  
  
"I'd love to go on holidays, even if it's only for three days. But we should ask Max and Logan."  
  
"If they're agreeable, we could start tomorrow," Steven proposed and Sarah nodded again.  
  
**A/N:** _Just to remind you: The little button is down there, left side of your monitor. If you don't like that button, you can always e-mail me at Rajana@gmx.de_


	11. North Sea

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_I know this is a little confusing, but I decided to actually write about the trip to the North Sea, 'cause I totally agreed with JoJo that the end of Chapter 10 was a little rushed. So I changed it and instead of two sentences you get two chapters.  
  
Thanks for this chapter go to willow -as usual - for her betaing (I can't believe anybody read the first eight chapters which haven't been betaed) and a fan who had some great ideas and inspired my muse :-)   
  
I got homesick writing this chapter, so be nice if you get bored by the journey, but once I started writing about the landscape I couldn't stop. Otherwise: Enjoy!_  
  
***********************  
  
**Chapter 11: North Sea**  
  
Max and Logan agreed with his grandparents on the idea of having a vacation-within-a-vacation and packed their stuff that night before going to bed.  
  
They started out the next morning after breakfast. Sarah and Steven had already loaded everything in the car they might need, and when Max and Logan appeared, they were already waiting for them.   
  
"These young people, Sarah, always late for everything," Steven kidded.  
  
Max smiled. "Not for everything."  
  
They took the same seats they had occupied the day before, Max sitting behind Logan, her hand resting on his shoulder. Logan was looking out of the window, enjoying the drive along empty country roads. In this part of the country there was almost no industry, just a lot of agriculture. These days in Europe there was almost no business that would make people rich, but at least most of the farmers seemed to do okay. As far as he knew, the crisis of the 1990s had passed and in contradiction to most predictions, even small farms had survived by changing to ecological agriculture.  
  
Although there wasn't much to see at this time of the year, Logan enjoyed gazing at the landscape as they drove along. Everything was so flat here. No mountains, not even rolling hills. Very different from the Olympic Mountains and the cascades he was used to.  
  
Eventually Max asked from the backseat, "What are all the shrubs and bushes for, that we're seeing along the road everywhere?"   
  
"Before they invented barbed wire fences, it was too much work to build fences around all the fields to show where your field ended and your neighbor's started. Or to keep the cows and horses from running away. So the farmers started to plant those shrubs. Today they are part of the landscape and the ecological system. It's not allowed to cut them down as there are a lot of animals living in and around the so called 'knicks,'" Steven explained.  
  
"Knicks?" Max tried to repeat but failed miserably. "What a funny word." But she seemed to be satisfied with the answer. "I can't believe how flat everything is here. Aren't there any hills?"  
  
Steven chuckled. "No, no hills around. That's because of the Ice Age. The glaciers flattened the landscape. The wind and the water did the rest."  
  
"The water?" Max asked, surprised.  
  
"Not here, but when we get to the North Sea you'll see the huge shallows. Not so many centuries ago that all used to be land. The fight against the water is a never-ending one. Last century they tried to fight it by bringing tons of sand to the beaches so they won't disappear, but with every flood the islands get a little smaller and with every storm-flood they get a LOT smaller."  
  
"So the land is sinking?"  
  
Steven turned out to be a good teacher of regional geography. "Yeah. If the U.S. had stayed the superpower they were and had continued to produce so much carbon dioxide, together with the rest of the world, global warming would have continued the same way it had started and this area would have been one of the first to suffer from the Poles' melting and would have sunk into the sea."  
  
Sarah stated sarcastically, "So finally we've found something to like about the Pulse."  
  
Steven laughed, "If that's the way you want to put it - yeah. The people here have a nice saying about the flatness, left over from the days when there where no cars: 'You can always see who's coming for dinner tomorrow.'"  
  
Now it was Logan's turn to laugh. "You don't have to live on flat land to know that. I always know who's coming for dinner, too."  
  
Max got the hint and answered, "Oh, if you don't like it, just tell me. I'll return to sandwiches and take-out then."  
  
Steven grinned at Logan next to him. "Maybe you should go a little easier on Max."  
  
"And keep feeding her? You've seen how much this girl can eat."  
  
"Come on, Logan, you're so mean!" Max shouted from behind him and Logan laughed again.  
  
"Okay, okay, feel free to raid my fridge whenever you want to."  
  
"I will, thanks."  
  
When they got to the coast Steven continued with his explanations, telling them about how dikes were built and how the people where trying to preserve and recover the land lost to the sea. Logan smiled at his grandfather. He was the type of person who'd never stay a stranger, no matter where he went. When they had decided to move to Europe he had started to study everything about the land, the culture and the people. No question he could continue talking for days, but luckily they arrived at the harbor.  
  
"Where are we going now?" Max asked.  
  
Sarah explained, "We're going to take the ferry to the islands. It won't take long."  
  
"One of the islands that's sinking into the sea?"   
  
Logan and Steven laughed at Max's question, and Steven replied, "No need to worry. The islands are safe, and we're not going on a 'Hallig.'"  
  
"You're confusing me today. Too much information at one time," Max complained. "What's that again?"   
  
"A Hallig is a small island that is so close to sea level that it sinks every once in a while. All it needs is a flood that's a little higher than normal to make the land disappear. All the houses there are built on wooden legs so they look out over the water."  
  
"But the island we're going to is higher. Definitely no need to worry. They have traditional houses, built from stone at ground level," Sarah said.  
  
Max looked skeptical but was sure the Parkers knew what they were talking about.  
  
The ferry trip only took about half an hour, and since the weather was fine and it wasn't windy, nobody got sick.  
  
Leaving the ferry and driving the short distance to the cabin, Max looked at the tiny little houses everywhere. They were adorable, built from brick with thatched roofs, according to Steven. She loved the little stone walls in front of the houses with the small white picket fences on top of them and looked pleased when Steven stopped the car in front of one.  
  
They all followed Sarah to the entrance. Steven looked a little worried when he saw the step but Logan just smiled and managed without a problem.  
  
The inside of the house was as cute as the outside. The decor was very nice, showing the owners' connection to the sea. Pictures of the beach and the sea, pictures of ships and ships-in-bottles, and a large oven in the living room that was obviously only used as a chimney and not for actual heating, made the place more cozy than Max had expected.  
  
"This is so cute," she commented.  
  
Logan smiled at her. "Yeah, it is."  
  
Sarah stuck her head out from what appeared to be the kitchen and said, "There's a bedroom down here where you'll be staying. We'll take the one upstairs."  
  
Max and Logan nodded and followed Sarah to the bedroom at the end of the hallway. "We need to go and buy some food if we don't want to starve," Sarah told them and "We'll just have a look upstairs and we'll be ready to go."  
  
Logan nodded. "Take your time. We'll be in the living room."  
  
Max threw her bag on a chair and laid down on the bed. "I love this house, Logan. Everything's so neat and cute and lovely."  
  
"I like it, too. Steven mentioned that it was one of the last houses that was built so close to the sea. Today it's prohibited for ecological reasons."  
  
"So we're lucky this cabin is old enough."  
  
"Yeah, we are. Is this door leading to a bathroom?" he asked but as Max hadn't opened it and shrugged, he had a look. "It is a bathroom. So we have one of our own."  
  
"And do not have to use the one on the second floor." Max smiled. "Shall we go and meet your grandparents? Do you know where the supermarket is?"  
  
"No idea, but Grandpa will know."  
  
Logan was right and the store wasn't far away. It only took them a few minutes to walk to a supermarket Max and Logan would dream about once they were back home. It was enormous, stocked with everything they could think of and then some. They bought everything they thought they might want to eat in the next few days and Logan was already preparing some culinary miracles in his head. Turning to Sarah he offered to cook that afternoon, and when Max said enthusiastically, 'Oh yeah!' Sarah and Steven both laughed and happily agreed.  
  
Coming back to the cabin, Logan and Sarah went to the kitchen to get lunch started, and Max had a closer look at the house. In the first floor there was only the bedroom Sarah and Steven were sleeping in and a huge bathroom with a bathtub. The door next to the bedroom was leading to an empty room that was a kid's room as there were dozens of toys in the shelves. White picket fences, Max thought, I could definitely get used to this. Downstairs she opened the door leading to the backyard and was surprised to find Steven there. "Hey!" she greeted him.  
  
"Hey Max. Did they throw you out of the kitchen?"  
  
"To be honest, I never went in. I'm really lousy when it comes to cooking, so that's Logan's job. I can do the cleaning afterwards."  
  
Steven smiled and turned away. Max followed his gaze and was surprised. "Wow, we're really on the beach," she remarked. "Logan told me the house was built close to the sea, but I didn't expect once you left the terrace you'd be right on the beach."  
  
"But you are. And the beach is wide and long here."  
  
"Yeah, it really is. And the sand is so fine and white. I can't wait to go for a walk!" she told Steven full of anticipation, but suddenly realized, "Oh, or maybe I won't."  
  
"Max, I'm sure Logan won't mind if you go for a walk at the beach."  
  
"I know, it's just that I would love to do it with him. We tried at your place, where the sand was frozen, but it didn't work well."  
  
Steven's smile disappeared and he asked very seriously, "Is it important for you? To do things Logan might never be able to do?"  
  
"Like go for a walk at the beach?" Max asked back. "No, it's not. I love the beach and the sea but it's definitely nothing I would give up Logan for. I can't imagine there's anything I would give up Logan for," she continued and made Steven laugh.  
  
He put his arm around her and said, "You're a good girl, Max. Please forgive my question, but I don't want Logan to get hurt. Again."  
  
"It's okay. I don't want him to get hurt either."  
  
"So do you think we should check how far they've gotten with lunch?"   
  
Instead of an answer, Max's stomach made itself heard. Both giggled and went inside.  
  
They had dinner together and Max was once again amazed at how eating was such a pleasure. Before she had gotten to know Logan and had started to have dinner with him, eating had always been something you had to do to survive, not something that was enjoyable. But now it was. Everyone was talking, they were making plans and when they finally decided to go on a walk to look at all the nice little houses and the small shops in the village to spend the afternoon, Max and Steven had to hurry to clean up so they'd have enough time before the sun set.  
  
Logan watched Max the whole afternoon, surprised at how feminine she seemed to him. Since she wasn't hiding behind her "tough-ass attitude," as he had once called it, instead enjoying the landscape and the island, he had the chance to notice her feminine side.   
  
Wheeling behind his grandparents, Max next to him, he was already starting to miss her touch. He wondered about it, then did something to correct the problem; when they stopped in front of a little shop that was offering do-it-yourself pottery, he carefully took her hand.  
  
Max had been focused on the woman inside, but came back to reality when she felt Logan's hand around hers. Looking down at him, she saw his insecure smile that made him look like a little puppy. Her face formed a smile, too, and she returned the gentle squeeze. She had never expected Logan to be so endearingly romantic, showing his affection so openly.  
  
When they continued their walk and he needed his hand for wheeling, she rested her hand on his shoulder, just to stay in contact.  
  
They stopped at a bakery before going back and got some cake they wanted to have with their coffee. Back in the house Logan started the coffee and Steven fired up the oven. Only a few minutes later they were all sitting in the living room, eating the cake and drinking coffee. Max was sitting in front of the oven, enjoying the warmth at her back and glancing at Logan who had stopped next to her. He glanced back and lovingly tucked a curl behind her ear, earning him a smile from Max.  
  
"Do you come here often?" Logan wanted to know from his grandparents. "You said this cabin belongs to a cousin of yours?"  
  
Sarah nodded, "Yes, it does. Steven's cousin Martin. He's skiing and left us the key in case we wanted to come here."  
  
"That's really nice," Max said. "I love it here."  
  
Sarah smiled and asked, "Did you hear the story of why he bought this house?"  
  
Logan shook his head. "Nope."  
  
Sarah looked at Steven and he started to tell them. "When Martin and his wife Anne were not yet married and were both still living with their parents, they didn't really have much of a chance to be...you know..."  
  
Max and Logan smiled and nodded. "Yeah, we know," Logan said, adding, "Parents in the room next door can be really disturbing."  
  
Steven continued, "So they started searching for a way to go on small vacations as often as possible. Anne told her parents she was staying with a friend and Martin did the same and they both took the opportunity to come here. At that time it was still allowed to camp in the dunes and that's what they did. When they grew older and got married, they didn't need a place to hide, but they still loved to come here. But eventually camping in the dunes was forbidden and they had to go to a camping place or to rent a cabin or whatever. They still did that and when they were here they found out that the old lady who had lived here had died. The heirs didn't want to keep the house and so Martin and Anne were able to buy it for a good price."  
  
Max grinned. "So they are still coming here to be... you know..."  
  
Steven laughed at her choice of words. "Yeah, I think that's why they bought it. It's in the dunes and reminds them of the good old times."  
  
"They sound like a happy couple," Max remarked, and Steven and Sarah both nodded.  
  
They didn't stop talking until Sarah asked, "Did anyone have plans for tonight? Because it's already dark outside and I'm afraid it's started to rain."  
  
All shrugged and Logan proposed, "Why don't we stay here? I'll make dinner."  
  
Max smiled, "You cooking dinner is always a great option. At least for me."   
  
When he smiled back, she leaned over to kiss him.  
  
Logan and Sarah disappeared in the kitchen and left Max and Steven alone.  
  
"So, what are we supposed to do?" Steven asked.  
  
Max shrugged. "We could set the table, but that won't take long."  
  
Steven nodded and they put the plates and silverware on the table in the small hallway that was used as a dining room.   
  
When they were finished, Steven asked, "Do you know how to play chess?"  
  
Max thought of the many times she had beaten Logan and a grin spread across her face. "Yeah, sure. Do we have a chess set here?"  
  
Steven nodded and got it from a cupboard in the living room. Max wondered if she should let him win, but decided it wouldn't be necessary. Winning a game of chess didn't have to be based on transgenic abilities. Of course Steven didn't have any idea of what he had just gotten himself into. He put the chess pieces on the board and offered generously, "You want to take white?"  
  
Max nodded, "Yeah, sure."  
  
When Sarah called that the dinner was ready, Max had already beaten Steven twice.  
  
"We're going to finish this game after dinner?" Steven asked.  
  
"You're ready to lose a third time?" Max answered.   
  
Steven laughed. "We'll see."  
  
As everybody had expected, dinner was delicious. When they had finished eating, Steven and Max did the cleaning up then joined Logan and Sarah in the bathroom. Pointing at the chessboard, Logan asked, "I assume Max has the white men?"  
  
Steven nodded, "Yeah, she has. How'd you know?"  
  
"I don't know how often we've played chess, but I can count the number of times I've won on one hand. She's a genius when it comes to chess."  
  
Steven raised his brows. "And you didn't warn me? I already lost twice."  
  
Max smiled one of her winning smiles and apologized, "Sorry. But I love to be underestimated and prove that I'm not as stupid as I look."  
  
Logan took her hand and pulled her in his lap. When she said down he whispered for noone else to hear, "You know you don't look stupid. You're my drop-dead gorgeous superwoman." Max's smile intensified and she kissed him quickly.   
  
"Are you just going to cuddle with my grandson or do you want to finish the game?" Steven asked.   
  
Max grinned. "He wants to lose again," she told Logan and left his lap to sit down at the table.  
  
Steven played well but even with Logan's help he wasn't able to beat Max. In the end they all were laughing and Sarah said, "Steven, you're too old for this girl. Stop trying and relax."  
  
He nodded. "Yeah, I'm old. I know."  
  
Logan chuckled. "Don't worry, I lose all the time too, so it doesn't seem to be a question of age."  
  
Max grinned. "You sure, old man?"  
  
She had expected Logan to react with a teasing comment, but she hadn't expected him to start tickling her, and when he did, she lost her balance. When Logan realized that Max was starting to stumble, he seized the opportunity and grabbed her waist, toppling her into his lap.  
  
"You like me here, right?" she asked.  
  
Logan smiled. "Yeah."  
  
Returning his smile, she made herself comfortable, curling up in his lap and leaning against his chest. Logan laid his arms around her and inhaled her scent.  
  
Max didn't leave that spot the whole evening, which they spent talking and laughing.  
  
When Logan's grandparents said good-night, Max and Logan stayed in front of the oven, simply enjoying the closeness they were finally able to share.  
  
Eventually Logan asked, "Max?"  
  
Not looking up she murmured, "Huh?"  
  
"If all this touching, cuddling and the whole affection thing is too much, you promise to tell me?"  
  
Then she looked up, leaning back a little to be able to look at him from a better distance.  
  
"What are you talking about? I love the tenderness. I love the way you hold my hand, the way you hug me and kiss me and pull me in your lap to cuddle. Is it okay with you?" she asked worried.  
  
Logan breathed deeply. "Have you ever heard of sensory deprivation?"  
  
Max was confused, but answered, "Sure. At Manticore it was part of the curriculum. It's an effective way to torture people. Remove a victim's opportunity to see, hear, feel, pretty soon they'll be willing to do anything just to be able to have somebody touch them. We were even taught that people can die from the lack of contact." Her smile was grim. She didn't like thinking of Manticore here.  
  
"Yeah, die. I can imagine that. You know, being stuck in a wheelchair means more than not being able to feel your legs. It also means that people are afraid to touch you. Look at Marie or my own family like Jonas and Margo. They won't even shake my hand. Looking back now I realized I've only had contact with nurses and doctors and therapists since my injury. And a nurse giving you an injection is not what I'd call 'touch.'"   
  
He hesitated before he continued. "You saved my life, Max. You were the first person since my injury that still saw me as a person. Do you remember the hug you gave me when I found Hannah?"  
  
Max nodded carefully. "It was no big deal. Not for me. But I remember the dazzled look on your face. I didn't understand it then."  
  
"That was the first time anyone had really touched me since the shooting, except for Bling in rehab. I lived of that for weeks."  
  
She gave him a small smile and said, "You could have told me, you know? I know what it's like not to be touched. At Manticore they taught us about the lack of contact but you can be sure that nobody would come and take you in his arms just because you needed it. Within the X5s we acted like a family. A few hugs and nudges every now and for us, that was enough to not miss it. We wouldn't have known what to miss anyway. Then when we escaped and I was always on the run, sometimes at foster families and sometimes hiding with other kids in the ghettos, there was nobody to touch me, either. But it wasn't that bad for me. Maybe that's because I'm not totally human. It's only since I've known Cindy and Kendra and the guys from Jam Pony that I know what it's like. To be human and to touch friends. Sorry, Logan, I really didn't think about it."  
  
It was true, she'd never thought about it. It had never really been an issue for her and she didn't think it would be an issue for someone else. But remembering all the time she'd spent with Logan, she realized the truth in his words. They never really touched, which was okay, 'cause they had only been friends, but Logan didn't have other close friends like Max did. Friends like Cindy. She wondered if Logan had had anyone he was that close to since the accident, and she realized that he probably hadn't. No family, no friends, just her, Bling and some informants. He must have been very lonely. And she had never noticed.   
  
"Hey, I'm not blaming you. I just want you to know why I take every chance to be near you, to hug you, to cuddle with you and to take your hand. Or be happy when I feel it on my shoulder. Max, it means a lot to me."  
  
"To me too. I love being touched by you," she agreed and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him tight and kissing him on the cheek. He hid his face in her pullover between her neck and her shoulder and took a deep breath. First part done, second part to come, he thought to himself.  
  
Max was fully concentrated on him and realized that the tension hadn't left his body. He wasn't finished yet and she was sure what further topic he had in mind.  
  
"Is this why you didn't want to go any further yesterday night? Not to risk a sensation overload after so many months of abstinence," she asked, trying to lighten the mood by her choice of words, but it didn't work. Logan remained tense.  
  
"Yeah, that's one reason."  
  
"And another one?"  
  
"I'm not sure what will work, how it will work... Max, the only thing I know for sure is that I won't be able to have sex the traditional way. And that scares me like crazy, 'cause I don't know any other way. When Grandpa started telling us about Martin and Anne and them coming here for 'fun' I felt like running away."  
  
"Why? That's got nothing to do with us. I don't need to be intimate with you here, just because that's why this house was bought. Don't worry, Logan, if you don't want anything to happen within the next few days, that's okay. We don't need to do it all at once. I'm still learning what it means to be somebody's girlfriend and we both will have to figure out how sex works, okay? I can understand that you're worried about it, but I guess that's a guy thing. I'm looking forward to it, looking forward to experimenting a little."  
  
"Your adventurous spirit seems to be a little more adventurous than mine."  
  
"Maybe. But I've always been good at making it up as I go." She smiled at him. "I don't know where all your insecurities come from, but I told you more than once that you don't have to hide from me. It's all good, all the time," she grinned, quoting Herbal. "And we have all the time in the world."  
  
"I think what makes me so insecure is that all my life, every time I was really happy, something really bad would happen. Like my parents die or getting shot. And right now I'm so happy. I can't believe that this is real and will last. Maybe I just want to spare myself the humiliation. I'd really prefer to be the self-confident guy I was when we first met, but that guy was killed by Bruno Anselmo, and all that's left of him is me. This crippled me that's not only the black sheep of the family but really feels like it. That wished nothing more than to be with you and is still so afraid of having sex. I'm sorry, Max."  
  
"Logan, I didn't get to know you well before you were shot, but I know you now. I love your insecurities as they differentiate you from the rest of your gender. You don't have to be sorry for it. And you're not the black sheep of the family. You're the best person I've ever met. I love every single part of you, every part that makes you Logan Cale. And that's so much more than insecurities and paralysis, the only aspects you seem to remember. What about your courage, your enthusiasm, your altruism and your optimism, at least for everything except yourself? Believe me, Logan, there's no need for you to be insecure, but if you are right now, I'm willing to tell you as often as you need to hear it, that I love you. Take your time, I'll be here."  
  
Logan smiled. "That's good to hear. Thanks for giving me the time I need. You're still going to cuddle with me tonight?"  
  
"That, mister, you can be sure of!"   
  



	12. Rain

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_I bow again to willow and a fan. Without their help this chapter would not have been possible.  
  
Please be nice and leave a review._  
  
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**Chapter 12: Rain**  
  
The next morning the weather was still rainy and windy, so they decided to get up late and have a good and long brunch before they started any activities.  
  
Steven and Sarah weren't in the mood to do anything, so Logan and Max left the house on their own, dressed in warm rain-clothes.  
  
They went for a walk through the little village and when they found out that there were small wooden paths through the dunes they strolled along them. When Max looked at Logan she had to smile. He was wearing a dark blue raincoat and had put on the hood so the small raindrops wouldn't slip under his collar. Only his face was peeking out of the coat and as his glasses were spotted with raindrops, there was really not much to be seen of him.   
  
"What are you smiling at?" Logan asked.  
  
"You. You look cute. Cute and wet."  
  
"Thanks. You look like a wet gummy bear in Granny's raincoat and those pants."  
  
"A gummy bear?" she asked and stopped, turning around to face him. "You're calling me a gummy bear?"  
  
"Yes. And the way you said that makes me grateful that there's no snow here." Logan grinned and Max laughed as she sat down in his lap.  
  
"Okay, I'm the red gummy bear and you're the blue."  
  
"I can deal with that." Logan nodded and pulled her face close to kiss her. "Do you want to go home? You're wet."  
  
"Maybe wet but still warm. I don't need to go home."  
  
"Me neither. Want a ride?"  
  
Max nodded and stayed on his lap when Logan continued to push the wheels. He only stopped when the wooden path ended and they had reached the beach. Standing up, Max smiled at the view in front of her. "Wow! Logan, this is awesome! Look! There's almost half a mile to go before you reach the water. I wish we had beaches like that in Seattle."  
  
Logan squeezed her hand. "Yeah, it's wonderful. So much sand, so fine and white."  
  
"Shall we go to the water?" Max asked, but a look from Logan made her start thinking. "Well, the sand isn't frozen but it's wet. Don't you think we could manage?" she asked.  
  
Laughing a little, Logan shrugged. "I'd say no, but we could always try. You're the one who might have to carry me back."  
  
"Yeah, let's try it. We can go back to the cabin along the shore," she proposed, and Logan didn't have the heart to bring her back to earth. She was so excited. What was the worst thing that could happen? He'd get stuck in the sand and Max would have to help him get back. He had faced fates worse than that.  
  
So he leaned back to lift the front wheels and pushed over the end of the walkway into the sand - and felt the wheels sink immediately. Max grabbed the back of his chair and tried to push him, but she needed some of her Manticore-powers to move him.   
  
"Sorry, Max," Logan said, turning his head to face her. "Doesn't look as if this is going to work."  
  
"Don't tell me you're giving up already? Maybe the sand a little closer to the shore will carry you?"  
  
Logan shrugged and let Max try. Usually he hated being pushed around - that's why he'd never buy a chair with handles - but with Max it was okay. They both knew he didn't need her help and that he'd normally just have dispensed with the walk at the beach and would have been okay with that. He trusted her with his life, so why not trust her with a little walk?  
  
Max struggled to keep Logan and his chair moving, but after a while decided, "Sorry, Logan, but I give up. You okay if we go back the same way we came?"  
  
As she stood in front of him, her face clearly showed her disappointment. He said, "It's okay, Angel. It really is. If you still want to walk home on the beach you could just help me back and do it on your own."  
  
"No way. I love to walk on the beach but I won't do it without you."  
  
"Sorry it didn't work," Logan apologized, feeling really bad at what had happened. Max loved to walk at the beach, but they'd never be able to do it together.  
  
"Sorry I tried. I should have known it wouldn't work."   
  
Logan didn't say anything until they were back on solid ground and Max was standing next to him. "Max, there are still a lot of things I haven't tried since being in the chair. This was one of it and it didn't work. I'm sorry for that. But if you're willing to stay with me, there are a lot of other things we can try together, and I'm sure some of them will work even in the chair."  
  
Max, who had been staring in the sand, looked up and at Logan. This optimism was typical of Eyes Only, but not for Logan. Logan was never optimistic regarding his disability. But she was not going to remind him of that, so she just smiled instead.  
  
"Okay. I'm willing to stay for a lifetime. And I can probably think of a lot of things we could try."  
  
Logan smiled back at her. There was no more disappointment in her face, only love and anticipation.   
  
"A lifetime can be a really long time, you know?" he said.   
  
Max nodded. "I know."  
  
When she leaned down to kiss him and he wrapped his arms around her waist, he felt her shiver. "You okay?" he asked.  
  
"Just getting a little cold. My feet are wet. Time to go home, I'm afraid."  
  
"When your feet are freezing, I don't want to know about mine. Let's head back."  
  
When they reached the house and opened the front door, Sarah came to see if they needed anything and without a word disappeared to get some towels.  
  
"Max, take off those wet clothes. Logan, you too."  
  
Both followed the order and gratefully took the towels to dry themselves. Max was heading to the bedroom where she could get some dry clothes when she heard Sarah shout at Logan.   
  
"Logan, stop it!"  
  
Not knowing what she was talking about he looked up at her, startled. "What?"  
  
"I'd tell you to take off your shoes but that won't help, I'm afraid." She grinned, then laughed, and Logan turned his head to see what she was talking about.  
  
"Oh." His wheels had gotten so dirty that even the journey back and the pouring rain hadn't completely cleaned them, and he had brought in half of the beach's sand. Not to mention the water still dripping from the wheels.  
  
"No, I'm afraid taking off my shoes won't help," Logan repeated sarcastically. "So what do you want me to do? Fly to the bedroom?"  
  
Sarah hadn't meant to offend him and was surprised at his emotional outburst. She decided to act as if he hadn't answered in that tone of voice, and said lightly, "Yes, if you could please do so."  
  
Logan looked at her and his face softened. "Sorry, Granny."  
  
Max came back to the entrance, carrying a chair from the dinner table. Placing it next to Logan she said, "If you could change seats for a minute you'll get your wheelchair back as clean and dry as it was when we left."  
  
Sarah and Logan looked at her, both relieved that the awkward exchange was over. Logan transferred to the chair and watched Max carrying it to their bedroom and, judging from the noise, further to the bathroom.  
  
When she brought it back it was as clean and as dry as possible. "Sorry, but the seat's still a little wet. Do you think you can live with a wet butt?"  
  
"Yeah, I think so. I can assure you that I won't even notice."  
  
"Very funny, Logan." Max grinned and watched him move back to the wheelchair.  
  
"Thanks, Max. And sorry, Granny, I should have brought a second chair."  
  
"No need to be sorry. Put on some dry and warm clothes, I'll clean up the floor," she said with a warm smile and Logan nodded.  
  
In their bedroom, Logan was pulling out some new clothes when Max asked, "Do you have some warm socks I can borrow? My feet are still cold."  
  
"Did you think about taking a hot bath?"  
  
"Yeah, I did. But to no conclusion. What about you?" she asked.  
  
Logan, who was just taking off his pants, shook his head. "I don't like taking baths. My legs won't stay under the water, makes me feel ridiculous. But I think I'm gonna take a shower, they're really cold." He threw something at her and when she caught it, she smiled.   
  
"Wool socks. Thanks. Meet you in the living room?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
When Logan went to the bathroom, Max put on a pair of jeans, a thick pullover and the socks before going to the living room, where Steven and Sarah were reading.  
  
"Logan's taking a shower," she explained.   
  
Sarah nodded. "Would you like a hot chocolate?"  
  
"Oh, I'd love one."  
  
When Sarah stood up and went to the kitchen, Max followed her.  
  
"Thanks for saving me."  
  
"Saving you?"  
  
"I didn't want to offend Logan. But it's hard sometimes, isn't it?"  
  
Max smiled. "It is. He can be so stubborn. But he knew you didn't mean to offend him. He's just acts like a real guy sometimes."  
  
"Yeah, but he seemed so happy when you came in. I didn't want to ruin that."  
  
"You didn't. Don't think about it too much. Logan's been so optimistic this afternoon, I'm sure that's not gonna change just 'cause he took something you said the wrong way," Max tried to calm her and Sarah nodded, her gaze focused on the milk but her thoughts obviously far away.  
  
"Everything okay?" Max asked.  
  
Breathing deeply Sarah nodded. "Yeah. This stubbornness is a family disease. His mother was stubborn as hell."  
  
"Logan's mother? He never talks about her."  
  
"I know. And neither of his father, am I right?"  
  
"Yeah. Is that another family disease? They appear in some of his stories about vacations they have made or holidays they have celebrated, but they are never real characters, you know? You never get to know them, they are just some extras, never necessary for the plot."  
  
Sarah smiled and handed Max the mug. "It's not easy, Max. I needed a lot of talking to get over it, so I'm used to it. But Logan was still a kid when it happened. He never talked with anyone, not then and not now. Back then I wasn't able to make him talk about it and today he won't let me. It's like he has hidden all his memories inside himself and is afraid that sharing them would make them disappear."  
  
"But sharing memories makes them bigger, not smaller," Max said.  
  
Sarah nodded. "Yeah, it does. Everybody has different memories and when you put them all together, everyone will gain something new. But Logan has never been willing to share - maybe because he wasn't forced to in the first place. Jonas and Margot never liked talking about Julie and Ben either."  
  
"Julie and Ben? Those were their names?"  
  
"Yeah. Juliana and Benjamin. But we never called her Juliana, she was always our Julie. She was three years older than her brother Daniel."  
  
"The one who lives in Australia?"  
  
"Yeah. We were still living in the U.S. back then. Steven had just started a small business as a carpenter and since we didn't know if that'd give us enough money to live on, I was working in a restaurant. Julie and Daniel were both in high school, Julie was in her senior year when she met Ben."  
  
"They met in high school?"  
  
"No, they didn't. Ben was in boarding school, a very expensive one near Seattle. His family was living in Seattle, he could have gone home every evening but he never did. He preferred staying in school. He was very talented in all kinds of business and met Julie when she went to the school's library to check out some books for her economics class. He gave her some advice for the work she had to write and she got an A for it. So she invited him for dinner, not knowing that he was the heir of Cale Industries and when she found out, it was already too late..."  
  
"..they had fallen in love."  
  
Max turned around and saw Logan in the doorway. He was the one who had finished the sentence.  
  
Sarah expected him to be angry at her, because she had started telling Max about his parents, but he was smiling.  
  
"I just wanted to see if I can get a hot chocolate, too. And I'm in the mood to hear some good stories."  
  
Max shrugged at Sarah who raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Okay. We can go back to the living room. I'll take the chocolate," Sarah said and took another mug.  
  
When she got to the living room, Max and Logan were already cuddling on the couch and Steven had put away his magazine.   
  
Sarah sat down in an armchair and continued telling them about Julie and Ben.  
  
"Logan was right, they had fallen in love. I remember the day Julie came home from a date with Benjamin and was completely dazzled. 'Mom, can you believe it?' she asked me. 'One day he'll own Cale Industries. And he never told me.' She had no idea what to do. Julie had been an independent woman and she had never imagined she'd be a housewife that would stay at home and raise the kids, but that was what Benjamin's parents would have expected her to do."  
  
"But they were still in high school, only dating, right?" Max wanted to know.  
  
"Yeah, they were. And that was what I told her. She could go to college and see how the relationship would develop. If she was going to marry him, then she could start the fight against Ben's parents."  
  
Max was so excited to hear this story and asked, "Did they go to the same college? I'm sure Benjamin was supposed to go to one of the elite ones."  
  
"He was. And we wouldn't have been able to afford it. That's why Ben broke with the family tradition and didn't go to Yale. They married right after graduation and Julie didn't stay at home. They returned to Seattle and Ben started working with his father. Julie found a good job in a small company where she worked until she became pregnant. When Logan was born she kept working part-time and the Cale family seemed to be okay with it."  
  
"Did you have a nanny or where did you stay when your parents were working?" Max asked Logan and he shook his head.  
  
"Stayed with Granny until I went to school. My mother was home after school, and made sure I did my homework and went outside afterwards, instead of watching TV or sitting in front of my computer. She and my father still lived the traditional way. When he came home from work she would have done all the chores and dinner would be ready."  
  
Steven nodded. "Juliewas great at everything she did. Mother, wife, and employee."  
  
"Why didn't she work with Logan's father?" Max wanted to know.  
  
"She never liked Jonas and was happier when she didn't have to be around him. Ben and Jonas got along okay but not Julie. Ben would change completely when he left his home and entered his office. There was nothing to be seen of the lovely and tender person he was at home, at Cale Industries there was only business. Cold, hard business. Sharks, you know?" Sarah asked.  
  
"And that worked? One person with two different personalities? He never confused them?"   
  
Logan shrugged. "I don't know if he was ever tender at work, but he sometimes had this strictly business attitude at home. Especially when I told him when I was about ten that I wanted to be a writer. I don't know how long he talked to me about my responsibility for Cale Industries. Or how often. Usually it was up to Mom to rescue me, but she wasn't always there."  
  
Sarah nodded. "They had separated their roles. Julie was the 'good guy' and Ben the 'bad guy'. Maybe that was because of their experience in business matters.."  
  
Smiling, Logan said, "Yeah, but it worked. Sometimes, when they hadn't talked about certain things and Dad had said no, I got it from Mom. Didn't work too often, usually they had talked about everything. But looking back now I would do it differently. If I'll ever have kids, I won't let the roles be so rigid. It's better that the good guy-bad guy roles change every now and then. Confuses the kids and forces one of the parents to be the enemy. 'Cause that's what happened with me and Dad. He was always so strict, always talking about rules and responsibility. I was just a kid. I didn't know that he wanted to protect me back then, I just thought he was mean." He hesitated for a moment before he said, "I don't know where I would be today if he hadn't died. Maybe I would have listened to him, like I always did. And then I would be in Seattle now, working for the dear Cale Corporation and I think I would have given up on all my dreams."  
  
Slowly Sarah looked up and at Logan and asked, "You thought about that a lot, didn't you?"   
  
"Sometimes every day," he answered honestly.  
  
"I always wondered why you never talk about them. Julie and Ben are taboo and I never knew why. It's been more than seventeen years since their deaths and I don't think you've ever said a word about them. And that's all because you didn't do what Ben expected you to do? Because you didn't join the family business?"  
  
When Logan shrugged, Sarah continued, "That's what Jonas and Margot planted in your head, didn't they? That you didn't do what you were supposed to and that that wouldn't have pleased your father? And not only your father but the whole Cale family? I knew they had tried that, but I never knew they had succeeded."  
  
"They didn't plant it in my head, it was more a reminder of all the talks I had with Dad. He sure wouldn't have been pleased."  
  
Steven sighed a little and said, "You really believe that? Benjamin would never have wanted you to do anything you didn't want. It was more a test, you know. If you survived all his speeches about responsibility and how your destiny was to work with him, and if you still wanted to do something else, then you would have proved that you really meant it. And then it would have been okay for him. He never wanted you to give up your dreams, he just wanted you to fight for them."  
  
When Max looked at Logan she saw that he was thinking. Trying to understand what Steven had just said and comparing it with what he remembered. He had been only fourteen when his parents had died and he hadn't gotten the chance to end the fight. So maybe Steven was right. Maybe everything would have been okay if he had just had the chance to prove his father that he really wanted to write. Maybe he was really right.  
  
Max could almost see how reality sunk in and Logan had to fight his emotions.  
  
"Wow, if I had known that this is what would come out of it, I'd have asked a long time ago," Max said, trying to lighten the mood and made Logan smile a little.  
  
Steven grinned widely and stated, "You know, I told you a catastrophe could have been prevented if you'd talked with me about Valerie, but I figure out that there are more things that turned out catastrophically because you didn't tell me about them. Any more bodies buried?"  
  
Logan shook his head. "No, I don't think so. And I can't believe how many bodies we've already unearthed these last few days."  
  
Max laughed a little and cuddled closer to Logan. "Will I get to hear some more Julie and Ben stories now?"  
  
"As much as I can remember," Logan answered and placed a kiss on the top of her head.  
  
They kept talking for hours, remembering all the good things that had happened during Logan's childhood and when they went to bed late, Max was sure she had learned more about family tonight than she had in all her life before. Smiling happily, she moved closer to Logan and listened to his breathing until she fell asleep.  
  
When Logan woke up the next morning, Max was nowhere to be seen. Pushing away his disappointment, he transferred to his chair and wheeled to the bathroom. While sitting in the shower he thought about last night's conversation. He had never thought that his father would have supported him even if he hadn't joined the family business. But he knew his grandparents, knew how good they had known his father and knew that they'd never lie to him. He still couldn't believe it. Had all his childhood memories of his father been wrong? Misinterpreted by the narrow-minded view of a child?  
  
Putting on his clothes and an extra thick pullover he went to see if he could find Max anywhere.  
  
She was neither to be seen on the terrace nor on the street in front of the house and Logan decided that she might be jogging at the beach.  
  
Slowly he wheeled around the house and followed the wooden path to the beach. The weather was great this morning -- the sun was shining and the stormy wind had blown away all the clouds. He stopped where the walkway ended and set the brakes. He watched the waves rolling at the shore and heard the seagulls above him. The beach was empty -- not a single person was to be seen and nothing disturbed the peace of the winter morning.  
  
Breathing deeply he thought of a similar situation only a few days ago when he had been at the sea bridge, staring over the water and thinking of Max. He had been so sad back then, had thought that they'd never cross the line of being 'just friends'. But they had, they finally had. He remembered how badly he had wanted her to be there with him and now she was here. One of his biggest dreams had come true.  
  
A smile spread across his face when he saw Max come running along the beach. She was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a pullover with a hood to protect her head from the storm.  
  
When Max saw Logan sitting there she couldn't wait to get to him. She had already missed him the minute she had left the bed to move a little. But there he was, watching her and smiling. She still couldn't believe that they had finally been honest. Now that she was really having a relationship with Logan and for the first time in her life was someone's girlfriend, she knew that this was what had been missing in her life. She had tried to live a normal life since the escape from Manticore but it had never felt as good and as normal to her as it did right now. Well, not normal. More special than normal, in a very, very good way. To be in love with somebody could never be normal, but now that she had finally been brave enough to admit it, it felt like the best thing ever.   
  
Lydecker could turn up here and take her back and it would have been worth it just because Logan was waiting for her with a smile on his face.  
  
Coming closer she could see all the love and affection in his eyes that matched her own. She slowed down and walked the last few steps before she stopped in front of him. "Hey."  
  
"Hey."  
  
She pushed the hood from her head and fastened her ponytail. Logan thought about how young she looked with her hair pulled back, but his thoughts were interrupted. "So what's for breakfast?"  
  
He laughed. "You shouldn't go jogging around the island if you haven't checked your food supply."  
  
"Very funny," she laughed.  
  
Logan said, "Maybe, if you're nice, I might be able to arrange something."  
  
"Oh, you're so kind", she replied and looked into his eyes, smiling again at all the true emotions she could see there. She kneeled down beside him and hugged him tightly, wrapping her arms around his muscular upper body, her cheek against his. He encircled her small frame, tight at first then loosening a little to kiss her. Max couldn't stop a silly grin from spreading across her face and Logan thought that he'd never been so happy in his life.  
  
On the terrace, Sarah had stepped next to Steven and asked him, "What are you looking at?"  
  
"Logan and Max. Just look how happy she is."  
  
"I don't think she's the only one smiling," Sarah said.  
  
Steven nodded. "I've never seen two people so obviously and honestly in love with each other."  
  
"Except us, maybe..."  
  
"Yeah, except us. Of course." Steven laughed.  
  
"I'm really happy for both of them. Logan has had a hard time, maybe even a hard life after losing his parents, but he's such a good person."  
  
"I'm really proud of him."  
  
"Me too."  
  
Steven stepped behind Sarah, embracing her from behind, both of them watching the couple on the beach.  
  
"Is it just me or do you also think that it's not only Logan who has had a hard time? I can't get rid of the feeling that Max has seen more in her life than she should have," Sarah asked.  
  
"Yeah, she's old for her age. Seems as if they both need and deserve the love they are finally able to share."  
  
"Everybody needs to be loved and just look at them. They've found each other."  
  
"Yeah, and I think this is Logan's first real love. Do you remember all these Valeries and Daphnes Logan showed up with? Young, rich, and beautiful women but none of them an equal partner for him. Logan is clever and so is Max. They won't get bored of each other."  
  
"No they won't. Especially not back in Seattle where every day is another day of struggling. I wish they could stay here with us."  
  
"I know," Steven said, "but today we'll go back home and the day after tomorrow Max and Logan will fly back to Seattle."  
  
They enjoyed the rest of the day together and went home late that afternoon when it was already getting dark outside. The ride home was in a comfortable silence, only interrupted by a long and nice dinner in a restaurant along the way.   
  



	13. New Year's Eve

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_For those of you who thought it was finished.. Sorry, but we have a few more chapters to go.   
I was excited to find out that even Germans read this fic and that the first German DA fic has been posted on ff.net. It's so good to know that I'm not the only one crazy enough.._  
  
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**Chapter 13: New Year's Eve**  
  
Back at home, the four of them were all lounging in the living room, using the last hours before the New Year's Eve party to relax. Sarah and Steven were reading the newspapers they had missed while at the shore. Logan had laid down, his head in Max' lap. Both were talking about what they'd have to do tomorrow before going on the plane and returning but none of them really seemed to care. It wasn't about talking right now, it was only about being together, about cuddling on the couch.  
  
Eventually Max said, "Sorry, Logan, but I've got to get dressed."  
  
He smiled, "Now? We won't have to leave until 7 o'clock."  
  
"Yep. It'll take some time." Max grinned and kissed him on the cheek.   
  
Sarah asked, "Do you need any help?"  
  
"Oh yes, please."  
  
Logan sighed as he sat up to let Max stand up. She already missed his touch and didn't want to go. Looking at him she could see he was feeling the same way, so she stepped back to him and hugged him before she followed Sarah out of the room.  
  
When Max and Sarah had disappeared Logan and Steven were left alone. "You're looking forward to the party?" Steven wanted to know.  
  
"Yeah, but I'm a little nervous. This party is the last thing we'll do here, cause we've got to go back tomorrow and it'll be difficult enough to continue there what we've started here. Won't help much if tonight turns out to be a disaster."  
  
"I got the impression that Max will survive any disaster. She seems pretty easygoing."   
  
"I know, but I want this evening one to be really memorable for her. We're going to meet the people we got to know when we were on the run from Marie. They're really nice."  
  
"Don't you think you'll have fun?"  
  
Logan hesitated then smiled, "Yeah, I think it'll be fun. But it's still our last evening here."  
  
"In Seattle there's nothing you're looking forward to?"  
  
Logan shrugged. "Nothing that's important. I'm looking forward to my car and my bathroom and to some other things in my apartment I've gotten used to. I know that Max is missing her friends and is looking forward to meet them, but I'm a little worried what this thing with us will be like when we can't be together 24 hours a day. We'll both have to go back to work, Max'll go back to her own apartment, and I'm sure she's not going to give it up to stay over at my place."  
  
Steven smiled, "You're talking as if you've never had a relationship before."  
  
Logan stared at his knees and slowly looked back at Steven. "Yeah, maybe. That's exactly how it feels. Everything's so new and special with Max. You know, the grass is a little more green, the snow a little more white and the sky a little more blue, just because she's there."  
  
"Yeah, I know. But it will be like that wherever you are. Just make her happy and it'll last."  
  
Max and Sarah had gone to the large bedroom where there were big mirrors and enough space to whirl around. They talked about makeup and hairstyling, then Sarah asked Max to sit down in front of a mirror so she could lift her hair to show what she could do with it. When she held it up to turn it into a knot she discovered something.   
  
"What's this on your neck?" Max's blood rushed from her face and she turned pale. The barcode. She had hidden it under some makeup this morning but it seemed to shine through. Breathing deeply she slowly said, "Oh, yeah ...it's a tattoo." She hated lying to Sarah but the truth definitely wasn't an option here. "I got it when I was in this crazy teenage rebellion stage." Max sighed quietly when she finished. That was the worst story she'd ever heard. She was lying to this nice lady even though she would really preferred to tell her the truth. But that decision was up to Logan.  
  
Sarah nodded, "We all have these phases. But maybe we should try something that allows us to leave some strands loose?"  
"Sounds good to me."  
  
"Are you going to take another shower? You could wash your hair so it'd be easier to style it." "I can do that."  
  
When she returned and Sarah did what she had had in mind, Max looked very pleased.  
  
"I like it."  
  
"Me too. So what about your makeup? You're going to wear the black dress we bought, aren't you?"  
  
"Yes." Both were so focused on getting Max ready to go that they totally lost track of the time.  
When Logan had finished taking a shower and had put on his clothes it was almost time to leave and so he wheeled to the bedroom to see what Sarah and Max had been doing all the time. He found both of them standing in front of the mirror, Max standing with her back to him and Sarah hiding her reflection in the mirror by standing in front of her.  
  
"Looks like we have a visitor," Sarah said and smiled. "But I think you're ready to go."   
  
"Thanks, Sarah," Max said.  
  
She nodded. "No problem." And she slowly left the room through the door leading to the bathroom.  
  
When Max turned around and Logan finally saw her, he felt his heart stop beating and his lungs stop taking in air. He had never seen anyone more beautiful than Max at this very moment. It took him some time to realize what made her so beautiful. She wore her hair up and a little curlier than usual, she had put on some makeup, just enough to draw attention to her beautiful face without looking painted, and she was wearing this terrific dress, but that wasn't it. What made her look so beautiful to him was this look in her eyes, this look that was directed at him and that told him that she was truly happy. Max had seen the same look in Logan's eyes, and was thinking almost the same thought about him. It wasn't his clothes that made him look so good but the way he looked at her.   
  
She was the first to find her voice again. "I never knew what this 'inner beauty' thing was about until right now. You look great."  
  
"Back at you. Are you ready to go?"  
  
"Ready as I'll ever be."  
  
When they arrived at the hotel the others were already waiting for them. Michael waved at them to show them where their table was and when they had fought their way through all the people standing around, they were greeted by everyone.   
  
Jillian had been very quiet for a few minutes before she asked, "Didn't you tell us something about Max not being your girlfriend, Logan?"  
  
He smiled and took Max's hand in his. "Well, there was this trap with the mistletoe that made us finally talk about some things."   
  
Max smiled at him and nodded when he continued. "Thanks to you guys for that."  
  
Charles and Joe grinned. Michael laughed and said, "Always glad to help."  
  
It didn't take long until the dinner was served and since Max had known Logan long enough to be the willing recipient of many of his culinary miracles, she found herself expert enough to judge that the food was really good.  
  
"So how long are you staying here?" Max asked.  
  
Joe answered, "Another week before we have to go back. What about you?"  
  
"Going back tomorrow."  
  
"Back to depression, corruption, and police brutality?" Charles asked rhetorically.  
  
"You don't talk like somebody who wants to go back at all," Logan answered, and Charles nodded.  
  
"Geena and I have talked a lot about staying here. Life's so much better and easier."  
  
"I agree on easier, but better? Don't you think it would be boring to stay here all the time?" Max asked.  
  
Geena shrugged. "I don't think if it's the task to get enough food and get home without being shot that makes your life interesting that it's reason enough to stay there."  
  
Logan asked, "And have you decided yet? Whether to stay here or go back?"  
  
Charles shook his head. "No, not yet."  
  
It was Michael's responsibility to end that particular topic of conversation. "Hello, guys!? This is supposed to be an evening to enjoy, so stop talking about that depressing stuff."  
  
Everybody nodded and there was a moment of silence before Joe asked, "Does anybody know what's for dessert?"  
  
"No idea, but I'm willing to wait to find out." Michael said.  
  
They continued talking about more enjoyable topics, had dessert, and finally got in more of a partying spirit.   
  
It was Michael who stood up, walked around the table and asked Max, "You wanna dance?"  
  
Max looked at Logan and as he simply smiled she nodded. "Sure. But I've got to warn you, I'm not a good dancer."  
  
"We'll see," Michael answered and waited for Max to follow him. She kissed Logan on the cheek and joined Michael on the dance floor. She soon realized that he was one of those guys who actually knew how to dance and who guided her well.  
  
Logan watched Max and Michael dance together. It was obvious that they moved together perfectly and, of course, he could feel the envy creeping up his spine. Max must have known, because she looked over at him and smiled at that very moment. He smiled back and knew that he was fine with it. He couldn't dance - so what? A lot of other men couldn't dance either. Maybe not because of a spinal cord injury but because of the lack of feeling for music or movements. Remembering the dance he'd shared with Max in that dream he smiled. Not at Max this time, just to himself.  
  
Geena was again the one to recognize the look on his face. "You look happy," she told him, and Logan nodded.  
  
"I am. Believe me, I am. What about you? How long have you and Charles been together?"  
  
"About two years. Why do you ask?"  
  
"I don't understand why you're considering leaving the States. You are young and should be happy together, so why escape? It's a little too easy, isn't it?"  
  
"I always lived my life the easy way. I had a very easy childhood and loving and caring parents. Money has never been a problem.."  
  
"..and still you feel as if there's something missing," Logan finished, as he remembered what he had told Max on Christmas Eve about people being lucky. Geena was one of those who should be happy, but still she wasn't.  
  
He looked over to Max and noticed that she was now dancing with Joe. Michael came back to the table and sat down, reaching for his glass of water, then turned to Logan.  
  
"You should keep her, 'cause otherwise I might want her for myself."  
  
Logan smiled. "No chance. It took me so long, I won't let her go again. You're not seeing anybody?"  
  
"Not really, nothing steady. I go out and have dates but I haven't met the girl that's the right one for me. How did you and Max meet?"  
  
Logan chuckled. "She tried to rob me. Broke into my apartment."  
  
Michael looked surprised. "You're kidding me."  
  
Logan grinned. "No way. It's the truth, I swear. We met and there were sparks flying through the air. I have never met anyone who impressed me the way Max did right from the start."  
  
"How long ago was that?"  
  
"About a year."  
  
"What took you so long?"  
  
Logan shrugged. "We both had to deal with a lot of issues. I got my spine shot out and she had to face some demons from her past. The usual stuff."  
  
"Doesn't sound that usual to me."  
  
Max came back that moment and as her chair was occupied by Michael she sat down on Logan's lap. "Hey!"  
  
"Hey yourself! Didn't know you were such a good dancer."  
  
"I'm not."  
  
"She is," Michael interrupted, and made Max smile.  
  
"That's just because of you. He's the good dancer," she said to Logan and he smiled and kissed her quickly.   
  
"Maybe, but you're the one looking gorgeous and that's the main job of the female dancer, isn't it?"  
  
"Sure. No brains, just looks. I'm good at that." She laughed and Logan hugged her. She's mine, he thought happily.  
  
Geena and Charles returned from the dance floor and it was Charles's turn to ask Max for the next dance, but she refused. "Sorry, but I need to find the restroom first. I've been dancing for quite some time and I'm afraid the wine has made its way through me."  
  
Grinning, she stood up and left the room. When she found the restrooms she couldn't help but overhear some women as they gossiped. She couldn't see the two women but they had to be standing in front of the mirror and redoing their make-up.  
  
"Did you see the woman in the black dress?"   
  
"The one who's too gorgeous to be real?"  
  
"Yeah. Can you believe she's here with the guy in the wheelchair?"  
  
Max stopped breathing and continued listening.  
  
"Not at all. I talked with Jason about it and he's sure she's just after his money or something. He said it's a waste of her beauty."  
  
"Even though he's not looking bad himself."  
  
"You're not lying, but he's in a wheelchair!" one of them cried out and the other one seemed to agree that there was no way either of them could ever fall in love with a guy who was paralyzed.  
  
Max wasn't sure if it'd be better to show herself and kick their asses outright, or just to let it slide. She decided on a compromise; she'd let it slide for now but kept the idea of revenge in the back of her mind.  
  
When the women had left the room, Max left the stall, washed her hands, and returned to the table.   
  
They continued talking and dancing and midnight came faster than anybody had expected. When they were counting down the last seconds, Max sat on Logan's lap and handed him a glass of champagne. He smiled at her, and when they reached "zero" he leaned forward to kiss her. He had a feeling this was going to be a much better year than the one before, and if not - it had definitely started better, at the very least.  
  
Max responded to his kiss and smiled. This was what every New Year from now on should start with - a kiss from Logan. She laughed at herself for turning one kiss into a lifetime commitment, but deep in her heart she knew it was true. Not only did she want every year to start with a kiss from him, but every day.  
  
Logan smiled back at her when he ended the kiss and turned to the others. "Happy New Year, everybody!"  
  
They all wished each other a happy New Year and finally drank the champagne. Afterwards they went out to see the fireworks and after about half an hour returned, freezing cold.  
  
The band had started playing again and as a lot of people had already gone home, there was plenty of space on the dance floor. A lot of younger people had taken the opportunity to dance more "club-style," dancing by themselves and not the more formal ballroom dancing it had been all evening, when there were only pairs on the dance floor.  
  
Max had joined the conversation at the table when she heard a slow love song start to be played. She stood up from the chair she had been sitting on, went over to Logan and bent down to whisper in his ear.   
  
"I wanna dance with you."  
  
Logan looked up, surprised. She seemed to be serious. He didn't know what to say, except what he had told her some time ago. "I can't."  
  
She smiled and remembered. Joining in she said, "I know you can. Mind over matter."  
  
He couldn't help but start giggling when he continued, "See, my problem is I can't walk."  
  
"I'm not asking you to walk. Just dance."  
  
Still smiling he said, "Sorry, but I'm afraid we have to leave out the part where I'm standing up."  
  
She shrugged. "It's not Sibelius anyway," she replied, as she moved towards the dance floor, making sure he followed her. He did and stopped when she did. With a gesture he invited her to sit down on his lap and she happily acquiesced.  
  
Logan decided he was lucky she hadn't decided to dance to a fast-paced song, and started to wheel them slowly around the floor. Max put her arms around his neck and laid her head against his shoulder. She had danced a lot this evening but it had never been like this. Everything was special with Logan and this felt like the way dancing was meant to be.  
  
Neither of them cared about the other people on the floor, and the many odd looks they were receiving; they were much too engrossed in each other to even notice.  
  
They stayed on the dance floor even when the song was over and another one, very romantic but a little faster, began. Logan remembered the song. Crazy for this girl. Yeah, that's exactly what it was all about. He was crazy for her. Looking into each other's eyes, they stayed in a world of their own until somebody roughly bumped against the wheelchair.  
  
Max first looked up, and then stood up when she realized that the couple had not done it by accident. At least not from the way they were looking at the two of them.  
  
"Maybe you could sit around somewhere else?" the man asked.  
  
When the girl added, "Yeah, you were in our way," Max recognized her voice. She was one of those she had heard in the restroom.  
  
"Oh, really? I'm so sorry about that, but I think that we're allowed to sit wherever the hell we want to. It's pretty easy to just go around us. That's what the guy's job is out here.. But maybe that's too much for you."  
  
"Jason, we don't have to listen to that, do we?" the woman said and Max smiled. Jason.  
  
"Not from them, that's for sure," Jason answered and Max had to inhale deeply not to fly off the handle.  
  
She felt Logan taking her hand and looked down at him. "Let it go, Max. It's okay," he said, trying in vain to calm her down.  
  
"Not this time," she replied, and turned back to Jason and his friend.  
  
"So tell me, what's 'not from them' supposed to mean?"  
  
Jason laughed. "Come on girl, just look at yourself. It's obvious that you're playing games. Why don't you come and join us? There's a friend of mine I want to introduce you to "  
  
"No, thanks. Just imagining that he's only half the asshole you are makes me want to throw up," Max said with the biggest fake smile she could produce.  
  
Jason's girlfriend piped up angrily. "She just called you an a.."  
  
"I know, babe, I heard it too." He grabbed Max's arm, and Logan had to say something.  
  
"Is that your style? Hitting women?"  
  
"Well, if you want to go first, that's fine with me," Jason sneered, and released his grip on Max. He raised his foot as though to kick Logan, but Max was faster and startled him by taking his wrist.  
  
"I think it's time you go home," she said, then had to turn away when she smelled his breath. He had definitely had one too many beers that night.  
  
"I don't think so!" he growled, and forgot his manners as he struggled against Max's grip and threw a punch at her with the other hand.. Needless to say, he never had a chance. Before he even realized what was happening to him, he found himself lying in front of one of the tables.  
  
"Lucy," he groaned, and his girlfriend ran to him. "Jason! Jason! Are you okay, honey?"  
  
Max crouched down next to him and said in a lowered voice so Logan wouldn't hear her, "I'm sure he will be okay. And the next time, both of you better think what love's all about. It's not money. And Lucy, you better be careful what you say when you think nobody's listening." She turned her back on them and went to Logan who had been watching the scene.  
  
"What happened to you?" he asked. "It usually takes a lot more than that to get you worked up."  
  
"Sorry, but I had met Lucy before and had been waiting to kick her ass. But getting two for the price of one was fine with me, too."  
  
Logan wondered what had happened with Lucy but Max obviously wasn't ready to tell him.  
  
The music that had stopped when Max had kicked Jason across the room, started again, and once again it was a slow song.  
  
"May I have this dance?" Logan asked, trying to forget what had just happened.   
  
Max nodded. "Of course," and sat down again.  
  
When she leaned against his shoulder, Logan stopped moving and embraced her, his mind still whirling with the events of a few moments earlier.  
  
"What was it all about, Max?"  
  
"Forget about it, Logan."  
  
"I can't. I know it's got something to do with me. And we should take this New Year as a chance to stop hiding things from each other, okay?"  
  
Max hesitated. That was much easier said than done. But of course he was right. What she had heard in the restroom bothered her, and why shouldn't she tell him?  
  
"Okay. I...when I went to the restroom I heard these two woman talking. Talking about us."  
  
Logan had an idea of what he was about to hear, and he nodded. "Go ahead."  
  
"They were saying that the only reason I was here with you was your money and that dating you was a waste." "And that made you angry?"  
  
Max wondered how he could stay so calm when she was seething with anger.. "Should it not?"  
  
"Not necessarily. But it's nice you did, proves to me that it's not like that," he started, but continued before she could reply. "Max, if you're going to stay with me, this won't be the last time you'll hear comments like those. You can't kick every moron's ass, can you?"  
  
She thought about it for a short moment, then smiled at him. "I once told you, you couldn't right every wrong and you told me you've got to at least try. Changed your mind?"  
  
Logan couldn't believe what he was hearing and started laughing. Trust Max to remember everything you've ever said, he thought to himself. Max joined his laughter and only stopped when he said, "Okay, I give up. You're right. Try to right every wrong."  
  
"Thanks, I will."  
  
He caressed her cheeks lovingly and pulled her close for a deep kiss.  
  
"Do you think we should go home?" he asked with a wicked grin Max had never seen before. She wondered if he had in mind what she was thinking. The days at the coast had been wonderful but on the intimacy issue they were still in the same place they had been before going there. Was he willing to change that tonight?   
  
Max shrugged and thought to herself, hell, it's worth a try. She had nothing to lose.  
  
They said good-bye to Michael, Geena, Charles, Jillian and Joe and went out.  
  
Logan asked for a cab at the reception desk but the man just shook his head. "No chance tonight, sorry. Everybody wants to go home right now."  
  
Max smiled. "So we'll have another walk. That's fine with me."  
  
Logan smiled back. "Me too."  
  



	14. Going Home

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_I still can't believe how many people are reading this. You guys really encourage me to go on writing. So here's a new chapter. Thanks to willow for beta-ing. You all know how much she writes and posts herself, so I feel really honored that she's doing it. You should be happy too, 'cause she eliminates most of my strange phrasing.  
  
The song quoted is "Crazy for this Girl" from Evan and Jaron. Sorry, but I kept listening the same CD over and over again. So - here's chapter 12. Please be nice and review._  
  
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**Chapter 14: Going Home**  
  
When he woke up in the middle of the night, a smile was plastered on Logan's face.  
  
Max was still lying as close to him as humanly possible. Her head was resting on his shoulder, her hand placed on his chest. His smile widened when he realized that they were still both completely naked.  
  
He had had sex. Not in the traditional way, with the emphasis on the actual intercourse, but definitely sex. They had come home late, 'cause there had been no chance of finding a cab, so they had walked home. His grandparents had left them a note that they would be staying at a friend's overnight and so they had been alone in the apartment. And had had sex. And it had been the best sex in his life. That's at least what he was thinking right now and he wondered why.  
  
Max hadn't been the first woman he slept with; obviously, since he had been married. But thinking about it he hit upon two reasons: The first one was that - despite what he had been told by Sam, Bling and some other guys from the wheelchair basketball team - he hadn't believed he'd ever have sex again. He'd been ashamed, embarrassed and insecure, and couldn't believe that somebody wanted to be intimate with him now. Now that he was only... No, he had to stop himself from thinking that thought over and over again. He'd been able to push all those thoughts aside only a few hours ago, so he should be able to do it again right now. Max had made clear that she loved him and didn't care.   
  
And that was the second reason. Max loved him and he loved her. Well, actually, he wasn't sure. He felt as if he'd never been with anybody where the love was mutual. Valerie had definitely loved alcohol more than he, and now that he knew Max and knew what he felt for her, he wasn't sure if he had ever loved Val either. And that was the woman he had been married to. So there was no need to even consider former girlfriends.  
  
He was happy that he'd finally been brave enough to take the first step tonight, and looking at Max sleeping in his arms and looking at her wonderful smile, he knew she'd experienced it, too. The perfect moment.  
  
His thoughts were interrupted when Max slowly opened her eyes and murmured, "This is my usual wake-up time, but I didn't think it was yours."  
  
"You sound a little too sleepy to actually get up, but if you want to... I'll miss you, though."  
  
She nodded, "Yeah, me too. You're the best pillow I ever had."  
  
"Oh, thanks. You're a nice blanket, too."  
  
Max grinned. "What I wanted to ask you when we came back but somehow forgot...Who are you and what did you do to Logan?"  
  
He laughed, wrapped his arms around her, and placed a little kiss on the top of her head. "You know, when our dance was interrupted yesterday and you kicked Jason's ass all the way off the dance floor, I realized that we'll never have a traditional relationship. The old gender roles just don't work with us. I can't kick ass and don't imagine you'll be doing much of the cooking."  
  
"We'd starve. But as long as you do the cooking I'm fine with kicking ass. Happy you came to that conclusion."  
  
"Me too, believe me. Took me long enough."  
  
Max nodded and played with the soft hair on Logan's chest. Unconsciously she started to hum the song they had been dancing to. Logan stopped her by whispering, "That's exactly what came to my mind when we got back tonight."  
  
"Huh?" Max was confused.  
  
He started to whisper the lyrics, "Right now, face to face, all my fears pushed aside and right now, I'm ready to..."   
  
He stopped and Max knew why. She knew what was coming next and knew what he was afraid of. Too much too soon. But not tonight. Gazing at him, she remembered what she had been thinking about lifetime commitments at midnight and continued, "...spend the rest of my life with you?"  
  
Logan hesitated, then nodded slowly. "Yeah," he answered, while the only thought in his mind was 'Please don't run away, please don't run away.' If it hadn't been so dark he would have known that he had nothing to worry about, but as it was dark he felt like a brick was rolling of his heart when her soft lips met his. "Me too", he heard her whisper, their lips never breaking the contact.  
  
Laying her head back down on his shoulder, Max suddenly felt the need to tell him something she had tried to hide from him the entire time she'd known him.  
  
"Logan?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You promise not to freak out when you hear what I've got to tell you?"  
  
Logan sighed, "That sounds like a 'Logan-I've-got-bad-news-for-you' speeches."  
  
"I don't know. Depends on you, I guess."  
  
"I can at least promise I won't run. Literally," he said with a sarcastic grin.  
  
Max decided to ignore his comment and explained, "See, I go through these phases."  
  
Logan didn't get it. "Phases?"  
  
"Because of my feline DNA. You know...cats? Mating cycles?"  
  
Logan had never particularly enjoyed hearing Max's Manticore news-of-the-week, but this really took him off guard. "So you...wow..."  
  
It took a moment for the news to sink in, then he wondered why she had told him. "And now you're telling me this because...?" Then a thought came into his mind. "Are you trying to tell me that tonight only happened because of your mating cycles? That in the morning you're gonna pretend nothing has happened?" he asked.  
  
When she looked at him with her dark, sad eyes, he really felt like freaking out.  
  
Max shook her head, "No. The exact opposite. I'm not in heat - that's what I call it - and to be honest, this is the first time I've had sex without being in heat. Logan, I'm trying to tell you...I never thought it could be like this."  
  
It felt as though a giant weight had been lifted from his heart. A single tear fell from her eye when she saw his shocked expression. He reached out and wept it away. "I never thought it could either. And I'm sure I can live with your heat as long as you choose me as your partner during these mating cycles."  
  
The sadness in her eyes disappeared and a smile spread across her face. "I think I can live with that."  
  
Logan pulled her up and close for a deep kiss.   
  
"I love you, Max," he said honestly.  
  
"I love you too, Logan."  
  


* * *

When Max woke up the next time and checked Logan's alarm clock, it was almost the time they had actually planned to get up. She switched off the alarm before it could go off, and carefully, so as not to wake Logan, left the bed.  
  
When she returned from the bathroom she heard Logan's grandparents preparing breakfast and smiled. They had come only to make breakfast and say goodbye. She'd miss them back in Seattle.  
  
She sat down on the bed next to Logan. He murmured something she couldn't understand.  
  
"Hey, sleepyhead. Time to get up," she told him softly before trying to kiss him awake.  
  
Still disoriented, he wrapped his arms around her and opened his eyes. "I preferred you wearing no clothes," he stated with a yawn.  
  
Max smiled, "You kind of proved that last night. But it's time to get up. Your grandparents are already home."  
  
"Okay, I'll get up. We don't want to miss the flight, do we?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
When Logan sat up and moved to the edge of the bed, he was all of a sudden embarrassed at his nakedness. Of course he had been naked all night, but that had been at night. When it had been dark.   
  
Looking up, he found Max smiling at him, and her smile told him that she knew exactly what he was thinking. "I like the way you look," she told him. "Liked it last night and like it now." When Logan looked a little confused, she said, "Excellent night-vision, remember?"  
  
No chance to be embarrassed with Max around, Logan thought and answered, "Yeah, I remember. But what I don't remember is why my chair is so far away from the bed."  
  
Max giggled, "I remember exactly. Want me to fill you in?"  
  
"As much as I'd love you to, I can't get rid of the feeling that it won't help me with getting up."  
  
Pushing the chair towards the bed so he could transfer she agreed, smiling. "You're probably right."  
  
Breakfast was over too soon and then it was time for Max and Logan to leave for the airport. They got their luggage from their rooms and started to say their good-byes, but Steven shook his head.  
  
"No need to say that now. We'll come with you to the airport."  
  
Max smiled. They were so nice. But Logan said, "No, you don't have to do that. We can go in Max's car. Have to give it back anyway."  
  
"We know. But we can give it back here, too, so no problem. We wondered if we could find a nice flight to Seattle. Around spring or summer."  
  
Logan smiled and shrugged. "Your choice."  
  
They didn't talk much in the car. Max stared out of the window, trying to memorize everything so she could always think back to the days here. She had never felt more safe and happy. But it's back to reality, she thought as they arrived at the airport.  
  
The check-in was done soon -- not many people wanted to go to Seattle these days -- so they had enough time to have coffee and finally say good-bye.  
  
Max found herself being hugged by Steven as he whispered in her ear, "Stay as you are, Max. And make Logan happy. Take care of him."  
  
She smiled and answered, "I will."  
  
Sarah and Logan had a similar exchange. "Bye, Logan. Take care of yourself and take care of Max. We'll come for a visit this year and we want to see you happy together."  
  
Logan nodded. "Understood, ma'am. Bye, Granny. And thanks so much for getting Max here." Sarah just smiled and turned to Max.  
  
"Max! It was so nice to meet you. You promise me you'll take care of Logan, okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I promise. Thanks so much for everything, Sarah. This has been the best week of my life."  
  
"There'll be plenty more." Sarah smiled kindly.  
  
Max nodded. "Thanks to you."  
  
She turned around when she felt something bumping against her leg. Logan's footrest. He looked up to her and asked, "Ready to go? Our flight is already boarding."  
  
"Yeah, I'm ready."  
  
They all waved for a last time as Max and Logan went to the gate and Max realized she had never felt so bad about leaving something behind. Logan stopped and took her hand, when he noticed that she really seemed to be unhappy. "Hey, Angel. We can come back next Christmas. Don't look so sad, please."  
  
"Sorry. Yeah, I know we can come back. And I'd love to. But right now we have to face reality and get on that plane."  
  
"Yeah. And don't tell me you're not looking forward to telling Cindy and Kendra everything."  
  
Max couldn't stand Logan's cute look and thinking of her best friends she finally smiled. "I can't wait to hear their 'told-you-sos'."  
  
"So we better take this flight. I have no idea when there'll be another one."  
  
They found out they shouldn't have worried about being late, as they ended up being right on time. Logan realized once more how nice everyone at the airport was as they arranged for him to get on the plane.  
  
When they were finally seated and the plane was ready to take off, Logan put his arm around Max and pulled her close. She looked up and said sadly, "It's really over."  
  
"Yeah. But I'm happy you're here with me and I can take you home with me."  
  
"You make me sound like a pet," Max chuckled.  
  
Logan smiled. "I wish you were. You'd always stay at home with me, I'd feed you every once in a while..."  
  
"Oh, you're so nice, Logan."  
  
"I know." He grinned back at her.  
  
When the plane started, Max looked at Logan and asked, "Why are you not afraid of flying when you're so afraid of heights?"  
  
"Just don't look out of the window, that's the clue."  
  
"We've got to work on that."  
  
"We've got to work on a lot of things, don't we?"  
  
"What do you mean?" Max asked surprised. "I have no idea what you're talking about."  
  
"Just wondering about the last few days. Looking back on it, is there anything you would have done differently?"  
  
"Logan, this week hast been the best in my entire life. I don't regret a thing. I regret I didn't accept your invitation in the first place and I regret we had to dance around each other for so long, but during the last week there's been nothing I would have done differently." She hesitated. "Except maybe..."  
  
Logan looked at her, horror showing in his expression. "Except?"  
  
"Except our walk on the beach. I should have known it wouldn't work. But I wanted to try." She smiled at him and his expression softened. Max asked, "What about you? Everything's okay with you?"  
  
He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her tightly to him. "More than okay. Just wanted to be sure."  
  
"You can be sure," she said and looked up at him, then leaned her head against his shoulder.  
  
Together they watched the old movies that were shown. Logan fell asleep after the second one, but Max, who wasn't very familiar with Hollywood's films of the previous century, continued watching.  
  
The flight seemed to be much shorter than going in the other direction, and before they had a chance to get bored, they were back in Seattle. While they were waiting for the other passengers to leave the plane and for the stewardess to get the wheelchair, Max looked out of the window and sighed. "Back to real life. Look, sector police everywhere. As if somebody would come here to steal anything."  
  
"I think they're watching out for illegal imports."  
  
"Yeah, probably you're right. I really didn't miss them," she said, thinking about the differences between life there and in Europe. She really hadn't missed hiding from the police and hover drones over there.  
  
It took them some time to get through customs, but eventually they managed and went to the parking lot.  
  



	15. Real Life

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_Anybody still there? I'm sorry it took me so long to finish this story but here it is: the final chapter. I never planned on such a long story like this (it's long for me, I don't compare myself to all these novel writers out there:-) ) and I'm sorry I didn't have more time to write.  
  
But everybody who's a little confused: I filled in Chapter 11 and 12 so the original chapters 11 and 12 are now 13 and 14. Blame a fan for it, she offered the input to do so.  
  
Special thanks to willow for spending her time on my phrasing. She told me it's getting better but I don't believe a word. You all should be happy you don't have to read the alpha version.  
  
Enjoy the last chapter!_  
  
**************************  
  
**Chapter 15: Real Life**  
  
"You're not gonna tell me you left your baby here, are you?" Logan asked with a surprised look on his face.  
  
Max shook her head. "No way. Just followed you 'cause I thought you might drive me home?" she asked with her cutest smile.  
  
"I think that could be arranged." Logan smiled back and stopped behind his Aztek to lift his suitcase in the trunk. Max started to help him, but one sharp look made her back off. Slowly she went around the car and got in, waiting for Logan to transfer into the driver's seat.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"It's okay, Max. I just like to do things by myself, okay? I know you're stronger but I can do it, too."  
  
"I know. I never doubted that. Sorry.... I think we've still got a lot to learn, don't we?"  
  
His lips curved into a smile again. "Definitely."  
  
Going through sector checkpoints, rotten streets and dirty ghettos, Logan finally stopped in front of Max's apartment. "I told you the world would still be broken this year," he sighed and Max nodded.  
  
"Turns out you're right again."  
  
She got out of the car, took her bag from the trunk and went around to the driver's side, where Logan had opened the window.  
  
"Bye, Logan."  
  
"Bye, Max. See you later?"  
  
"I don't know." She answered without really thinking about it. "I think I'm gonna catch up with Original Cindy, maybe have a few beers at Crash. Wanna join us?"  
  
"No, I don't think so. I'll call you, okay?"  
  
"Yeah. Bye!" Max kissed him on the cheek and turned away slowly walking to the entrance. When she looked back before she went in, she saw that the car had already left. Shrugging she went up the stairs.  
  
"Anybody home?" she shouted and had to put her hands on her ears when Original Cindy came out of her room and started screaming.  
  
"Max! Happy New Year!" She hugged her friend warmly.  
  
Max smiled. "Happy New Year, O.C.!"  
  
"Where'd you come from? Where have you been? You only left this note saying something about a real European Christmas I didn't understand. Where have you been?" she repeated and Max's smile widened. She knew she'd have to tell Cindy eventually, so why not now?  
  
"I've been with Logan. We've been visiting his grandparents in Europe."  
  
"Europe? With Logan? You're kidding?!"  
  
"Nope."  
  
Cindy looked at Max and nodded. "No, you're not kidding. You better sit down and tell me everything."  
  
Max laughed and followed Cindy to the couch in the living room.  
  
"Logan had invited me to celebrate Christmas with him weeks ago but I told him I couldn't, so he left alone. He must have been in a bad mood, because his grandma called and asked me to come. I couldn't say no this time, so I took off for the airport instead. I got there on Christmas Eve, and we had a very nice evening. Went to church, had a delicious dinner and gave each other presents. It was so fantastic. But that night I started having seizures, you know, I was shaking and trembling and Logan stayed in my bed that night. The next day we did some sightseeing and were late for coffee with some friends of his grandparents or whatever. They were horrible and were obviously having problems with Logan in the chair so we went out for a walk to spend as little time with them as possible. We went to a café not far away and met some Americans which were very nice. But they trapped us and made us kiss under the mistletoe."  
  
Cindy whistled. "That's nice."  
  
"Yeah, but of course we pretended as if nothing had happened. At least for the next hour or so. But then we built a snowman and when we were finished, Logan started a snow fight. He had already won, but I hit him hard and he fell out of the chair. Nothing happened but when I went over to see if he was okay, we kissed again."  
  
"So you finally figured it out. Max, it took you so long..."  
  
"...and even longer. Nothing was clear."  
  
"A night in one bed, two kisses and you still were pretending nothing had happened?"  
  
"Yeah, we still did. But I couldn't sleep that night and went back to the living room to watch the wonderful Christmas tree and think a little about everything and eventually Logan showed up. Told me later that he had been in the kitchen, talking to his grandfather. But there he was, coming to the living room, sitting down next to me and telling me...well...telling me that he loved me."  
  
"Who would have guessed? Logan loves you. Max, I still can't believe that he had to tell you for you to realize. Didn't I tell you so? Didn't I tell you that you two were in love?"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, you told me. But that's the way it happened. He had to tell me. I had figured out that I loved him, but I don't know if that would have been enough. Maybe if I had never told him, we'd still be dancing around each other. But after that it was simply great. We've been together all the time, even went to a cousin's cabin on an island for a few days. It was really hard to say good-bye, everything's just been perfect."  
  
When she was finished she couldn't hide her smile from Cindy.  
"You're really happy," she stated without it being a question.  
  
Max nodded. "More than happy. I'm just really glad I followed him."  
  
Cindy grinned. "Didn't I tell you so? Didn't I tell you to go to Logan and be honest, tell him what you feel? But you kept telling me that 'we're not like that' BS!"  
  
Max laughed, "Yeah, I know you told me so, but I don't care. I've never met a better man than him. You simply can't imagine how cute he's been all the time. Europe was wonderful because of the fact that the Pulse never happened, but we could have gone just anywhere and it would have been just as wonderful just because of Logan."  
  
Cindy smiled at the love showing on Max's face. "That's good to hear. Logan's a good guy."   
  
"The best."  
  
"You're gonna go to his place tonight?"  
  
"Nah, I thought we could meet the others at Crash, see who's got the worst hangover from last night."  
  
"My bet's on Sketchy."  
  
"I'm not gonna bet against that."  
  
The girls kept talking and chatting about Europe and Cindy told Max about the latest events back in Seattle, about Normal's New Year's campaign, which meant more hot runs than ever before, and about the new girl she'd met at Crash a few days ago.  
  
Logan drove home silently, thinking about Max. He could understand that she wanted to catch up with Cindy and that she wanted to have some beers at Crash, but he didn't get why that meant not seeing her tonight.   
  
He didn't like to go to Crash on crowded evenings - and this would be one - but he even considered changing his attitude before his pride told him to stop thinking like that. He wasn't going to run after her. If she wanted to see him, she'd call.  
  
He struggled a little with his suitcase in the elevator, but finally he reached his penthouse and sighed. It was a good feeling to come home, but his apartment had never felt so empty. Switching on all of the lights he booted up his computer and put his clothes in the washing machine.  
  
Max enjoyed being at Crash, talking with the Jam Pony gang and playing some pool. She even enjoyed the band that was playing as it was actually better than the usual wanna-be-rockers that were hired usually.  
  
But one thing was bothering her. Why didn't Logan call her? She checked her beeper again and again but even after midnight there was no call from him.  
  
She waved good-bye to everybody and went outside to go home but was stopped by Original Cindy before she could start her bike.   
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"Home," Max answered.  
  
"You musta checked that beeper at least a thousand times. Was Logan supposed to call?"  
  
Max shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe."  
  
Cindy arched an eyebrow. "Maybe? What happened?"  
  
"I don't know. When he drove me home he asked if we'd meet tonight and I told him that I wanted to talk to you and maybe go to Crash. I asked him to come but he didn't want to join us. He said he'd call but obviously didn't."  
  
"And now you're going home? Max, you must be kidding me! Your boy wanted to spend the evening with you and you bailed. And you're still expecting him to call? One thing you've got to learn about the three-legged-gender is that you better never ever hurt their pride. I bet he's at home waiting for you to call because he's too proud to pick up his phone and call you."  
  
Max looked at her, surprised. "How do you know so much about men?"  
  
"This isn't really a guy thing. It's just human nature. Call him, Max."  
  
Max thought for a moment about what Cindy had said. Yeah, maybe it was just human nature. Why didn't she simply call him? Just because she was too proud. She felt like she had before she'd gone to Europe. Before they'd been honest with each other.  
  
It was exactly the same thing, they wouldn't get any further and would both be unhappy if one of them didn't forget about his pride and just talk. The last time it had been Logan, with a little help from Steven, so Max sighed and decided that today it was her turn.  
  
"I'll go see him. Don't wait up for me," she told Cindy before riding away. Cindy smiled. She had always known that Max and Logan belonged together, had known since the day he came to Jam Pony when she had been in prison. She was happy that her best friend had finally seen what had been so obvious and was happy that she and Logan were finally together, but she also knew that with two people as stubborn as those two were, this wasn't the first misunderstanding they'd had, and it wouldn't be the last.  
  
Turning to go back into Crash she shrugged. Max might need a push in the right direction every now and then, but Cindy had seen the love in her eyes when she talked about Logan. No need to worry too much, she thought to herself. Those two will make it.  
  
Max drove through the dark Seattle streets, stopping only when she reached Logan's apartment. When she entered she thought at first that he must be asleep, since there weren't any lights on, but when she moved silently to his bedroom, she found him in bed, writing something in a book.  
  
She stopped and leaned against the door, watching him for a moment before he became aware of her presence. Putting the book on the nightstand he said, "I thought you were at Crash."  
  
She nodded. "I was. But remember? I told you I never wanted to sleep alone again and I thought maybe you'd let me join you."  
  
Logan's face, which had had a skeptical expression when he first saw her, softened, and a smile crept up his cheeks to his eyes.   
  
"You know you're always welcome. In this apartment and especially in this bed." He smiled at her. "Get over here."  
  
She smiled back at him and walked over to the bed where he was sitting. He pulled her down next to him and wrapped his arms around her before he kissed her and said, "I'm glad you're here."  
  
"Me too." She looked him into the deep blue eyes and asked, "Why didn't you call me and ask me to come over?"  
  
He answered her questioning look and said, "Because you didn't ask me to. Because you didn't tell me you wanted to see me tonight."  
  
Max placed her head on Logan's chest and giggled a little.   
  
"What's so funny?" he wanted to know.  
  
"Cindy told me that would be the reason. Sorry, Logan, I simply didn't think about it."  
  
"Forget about it, Max. You're here, I'm happy and actually pretty tired."  
  
"Let me just go to the bathroom and I'll be back."  
  
He nodded and watched her throw her jacket on a chair and walk to the bathroom.  
  
When she came back a few minutes later, she threw her pullover on the same chair where her jacket was lying. Logan, who had switched off the main light so that the bedroom was only enlightened by the small lamp on the nightstand, told Max, "You can wear one of my T-shirts, if you want to."  
  
Max bit on her lower lip to stop the smile and continued to undress slowly. After the pullover, her pants joined the clothes on the chair, then came her socks and the shirt she'd worn under the pullover. Logan gulped when she unhooked her bra and pulled off her panties. Staring at her, completely naked, he continued his previous offer, "Well, only if you really want to."  
  
His wide smile told her more than his words that he didn't want her to wear anything, so she walked up next to the bed and when he lifted the blanket, she slipped under it, cuddling close to him.   
  
"You're wearing too much clothing," she told him, and started to pull off his shirt and his boxer-briefs.  
  
When both were completely naked, Logan grabbed Max's tiny waist and pulled her on top of him where he held her tight and whispered in her ear, "I love you Max."  
  
"I love you too."  
  
When Max woke up in the very early hours of the next morning, she was still lying in front of Logan, spooning with him. Without turning around she inhaled his scent and was satisfied just to be so close to him.  
  
Lying there and thinking about the events of the last several days and what might come out of it, she eventually remembered the book Logan had been writing in, when she had found him in his bedroom. Carefully, so not to wake him, she took the book from the nightstand. Didn't know he was writing a diary, she thought to herself and curiously decided: I'll just have a small glance at what he was writing before I came in. She knew it wasn't a nice thing to do, but she couldn't resist.  
  
Opening the last page she just caught a few words...Forever eyes...dark...my angel. Smiling, she put the book back and moved closer to Logan.  
  
**THE END**  
  
**A/N:** _Okay, you did it. It's finished. If you liked the story, you might wanna check out "Surprises", it's a little sequel._


End file.
